Sacred Woman

Working Willingly

2009-01-19T05:59:00.000-08:00

I decided to join Hadias and post my weekly "to do" list every monday as a reminder for self and as a boost to blog even when I don't have anything (positive) to say.

~Study
~Must Do
~Taking Care of My Home
~Training My Children
~Menu Plan Monday

~Study
-Sacred Woman (13 weeks)
-spending 1 hour a week on designing and drawing

~Must Do
-Go to doctor with Shaq-
-Call utility company to make arrangements for payment
-Make arrangements with girlfriends about joining a gym together
- Estabblish weighlifting @home routine at least 2x a week

~Taking Care of My Home
-Zone 4 master bedroom and closets
-Get laundry back on track!!!
-Iron school clothes

~Training My Children
-Teaching my son better studying habits
-Teaching my son to speak my native language (sranang tongo)
Focus of the week: HONESTY

~Menu Plan Monday
Mon: white beans and vegan "ham" in tomatosauce served with brown rice
Tue: Spaghetti with zucchinni
Wed: Mash patatoes, veggieburgers and haricot beans
Thurs: stir fry (mushrooms, haricot beans, cabbage, tofu) served with basmati rice
Fri: Sabbath meal Javanese fried rice served with "prawn"(vegan) crackers, fried plantain and tomato/cucumber/lettuce salad
Sat: red kidney bean stew served with brown rice, fried plantain, pickled cucumbers
Sun: Baking and cooking with Shaquille

JAH I-TINUAL BLESSINGS!

Phytomer, I heart you!

2008-08-23T01:35:00.000-07:00

The stress of rearranging my life after the break-up was mostly visible on my face and neck. I broke out the worse way ever (and that is bad knowin that I have been battling acne most of my late teens and adult life!!) Not only did I look some kind of horrible (honestly if I passed myself on the street I would have sworn I was a junky) it hurt like heylll too!

Sonja, my beautician, who has been doing my brows for the longest time, decided to confront my bad skin and made an appointment with me to clean my pores and put me on facial products that she sweared by. Now I love Sonja caus the woman is a artist with tweezers, she makes you look like you had a mini facelift by just doing the brows, but I just didn't think that anyone could help me ( I am a regular at the dermatoligist and he can't even help me!). My father seeing all the pain (mentally and physically) I was in due to the acne, gave me money to confront my bad skin. I made an appointment with Sonja and she really really really hurt me I was preparing myself to look in the mirror after the treatment and see all kinds of haematoma, wholes and what nots. After 40 min of extreme pain (no itching tho wich is new caus I always break out in a rash from over the counter products) I got up looked in the mirror and was amazed that my face looked much calmer, cleaner and most of the comedones had disappeared, my face felt soft and best of all it wasn't painful or swollen anymore!!! Sonja send me home with a few testers of the products that she used on me and told me to stop using other products and just stick to this line at least till the tester pots where empty.

I was amazed at the result but the pessimist in me told me just wait till you get up in the morning you will have the worse break out ever. I washed my face with the facewash, used the cream and blemishgel and went to bed expecting the worse. Next morning my face had cleared up even more and even the blemishes where fading! I used the line religiously till the testerpots where empty and ran to Sonja to buy the products. I have been using these products for about 2 months now and my face is looking better each day. Sonja promised me that she would help me to get rid of my acne once and for all and it looks like she is keepin her promise.

To help my skin, I try to drink as much mineral water as possible, don't skip my night- and morning routine and try not to touch my face as much.

These are the products I use:

My next appointment with Sonja is in 2 weeks and she sceduled me in for a few make-up lessons as well caus I am in my 30's but have no make-up sense whatsoever! I have to admit that I never liked to see women or girls with acne wearing make-up it just looked like a very bad cover up. I was also afraid that using make-up would just irritate my skin even more. The other thing that made me insecure are my features I am a black girl with green/grey chinese-shaped eyes and I just can't find any tutorials on how to deal with that!!! Hope Sonja will help sort out that insecurity as well!

Love,

Chayil

Locs no more!

2008-08-23T00:45:00.000-07:00

A few weeks after the break-up I sat on the couch and just decided to take down my locs and give myself a haircut (note to self never do that again!!!) my hair went from waistlength locs to shoulderlength naps (in some places others shorter caus I can't cut hair). My locs where somehow connected to my ex, he was there when I made the decision to loc, he washed them for me whenever I was not able too, played in them before going to sleep. I guess you can say that his vibez where just left inside every babyloc. Maybe a part of taking them down also had to do with change, somehow women feel the need to change their appearence after a break-up. Another reason for taking them down was the fact that I miss grandmother to the extreme, I know that she loves me no matter what but the fact that I was locing my hair was a bit frowned apon by her. My grandmother is ready to let go of this earthly world and somehow this seems like a tribute to the woman that thought me so much and that helped me to grow into the strong woman I am simply by being able to follow the example she sat. I will loc again that is the only thing that is certain when and how are still Q's to be answered.

Now that I am a loose nap again the whole dealin with my nappy hair issue is back *sigh* I catch myself still hiding behind my headwrap and want to be able to take it off and just walk outside but the threshold is too high. Going outside without my headwrap is like screaming to the world I am single!!! and giving men around me "permission" to approach when I am in no way ready to be approached! I need to get over that fear and just take it off and deal with the reality that men will approach but I am in control and have every right to say no politely.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. ~Author Unknown

How can I control my life when I can't control my hair? ~Author Unknown

Love, light and blessings,

Chayil

Bringing sexy back! CHALLENGE

2008-08-22T00:23:00.000-07:00

Lost a lot gained a little, pounds that is. I reached my target goal a few months ago sadly neglected myself (once again) and gained back about 8 pounds, my BMI is still healthy but the pounds cling to my belly and upper arms and thights so I am going to target them and eliminate them once and for all! The goal for me is to tone my body not to get skinny I would love do some excersises that will help me to get a lil booty. As you can see this black girl has no booty whatsoever!
I took some pictures to document the progress but they are extremely blurry (no that camera saffy yet I'm afraid) I will try take take some new ones but these will have to do for now!

I haven't set a date to reach my goal but I think 2 pounds a week should be do-able so hmm let's say sexy should be back around the 22nd of September? Who's in for a challenge? Come on ladies join me in bringing sexy back!

I went jogging yesterday and it was wonderful! It wasn't only a milestone that I left the house to jog it was also the first time that my eldest babysat for me. All went well the lil one was already asleep when I left and he didn't wake up in between. I am so proud of my sons they are developing into wonderful responsible lil men and I know they will make wonderful husbands for lucky ladies in the future! My jogging buddy/sista-friend/babysitter was on fire! She has been jogging 3x a week for the last 2 months and you can definately see the progress not just in her looks but the girl has stamina!!!! I speedwalked most of the way but she kept a fabulous pace all the while!! D-tje I am so proud of you love ya to bits momma!!!

Next week I will start swimming one or 2 mornings a week. My lil one his school is near the swimmingpool and it is the only sport I can do without having to take a gym membership. A) can't afford one B) everytime I get sick I have to provide the gym with a doctors note in order not to pay!!! yes it is against the law but still it is procedure for every gym in the Netherlands!!!!

Ok blogging friends I am going to start doing some housework!

Might be back later!

Love, blessings, light,
Chayil

What I have been up to lately.

2008-08-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

Good morning beautiful blogging girlfriends! First of all thanks for all the heartfelt messages I will be by this week to thank you all in person.

My sons where gone for the summer my father took them to stay in Suriname and they had a wonderful time. They came back recharged and since they are back they seem much better adapted to life without a father. Their father contacted them once since he left wich is almost 6 months ago. He is refusing to pay alimony eventhough we had already agreed to an amount. I've decided to just let things go and not pursue the money for the time being. I think my sanity and nerves are more important than the money, wich does mean that we are living off of very very little but we are managing. My youngest started elementary school last week and is enjoying every bit of it. My eldest has just left for the first day of high school (? no idea if that is what atheneum is called in the USA help me out here lol).

I haven't taken the best care of myself, my diet is poor and taking care of myself has been put on the back burner for way to long! This blog has always inspired me to life my life to the best of my ability so I hope blogging will help me get back on track. I haven't been on a scale for while but I will go as soon as my monthly lady friend is gone ;-)

Yesterday I signed a contract with myself and my babysitter/jogging buddy/sista friend will co-sign it on thursday when we start jogging again. The contract is one of sensual celibacy , basicly an agreement to stay celibate for at least 6 months, and in the meantime spend time energy and love on Self. I was extremely excited to sign it LOL Just the idea of having to get to know a man in that way and having to give myself in that way is exhausting!! Male attention is driving me up the wall, sure it is flattering but I feel like there is this big ole target on my forhead or some kind of scent that makes men smell from a distant that I am "available" (insert smiley with eyes rolling). I also wonder what the heck men see in me right now caus I am a right mess! Don't know if I would even wanna date someone that is attracted to me in this state! Ha!

The prospect of dating again does excite me I will not lie but I feel that I need to deal with some issues of Self and Home before doing that. I do not want to bring hang ups of a former relationship on a date, nor do I want to be worrying about home, finances and all of that while having dinner with a nice man.

My father, brother and I just started setting up a family business in Suriname importing orchids from Thailand and bringing them to flower to sell them in Suriname. It is starting to take great form the first shipment will arrive in Suriname by the end of this week. Soon as that takes off (meaning that there is enough profit to earn my living) I will go to Suriname for at least a year to set up a flowershop. I hope and pray that my grandmother will still be among us by that time but I also know that she is in pain and I know that she is longing to be reunited with my grandfather and her siblings.

Ok bloggerfriends, the lil man is home ill so I am going to cuddle with him and do some housework after.

Love, light and blessings,
Chayil

Lesson Learned!

2008-04-11T11:57:00.001-07:00

A New era

2008-03-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

These last weeks I've been running around organizing a babyshower for my sis-in-law (it was great fun we had a high tea sil had a great time and was extremely delighted), preparing for the arrival of my parents (next weekend) and inlisting our sons in new schools. The eldest will be finished with elementery school in June and will be attending grammer school as of next schoolyear. The mere thought of it makes my stomach act "rollercoastery" my baby will go to school all alone on his bike and he will not need me anymore (I know that is dramatic but it is how I feel!)
I still remember the first day of kindergarden his hand squeezing my sweaty palms, we enter the school gates and he let's go of my hand and runs off to play on the swings and I stand there lost wondering how I will survive walking out of the schoolgates and attending work as if I did not just dropped my son off with total strangers. I can assure you that that was one of the longest days in my life, I wanted the schoolday to end so I could pick him up from school and pretend I never left him. When I picked him up he was full of stories and was extremely exited about the whole first-day-of-school experience, I was exausted from worries of what might have gone wrong. Now that we are entering a new fase I feel the same, sweaty palms, "rollercoastery" stomach and an uneasy feeling scared of what lies ahead. My son on the other hand is exited and totally ready for this new fase.

As if having to send my eldest off to grammer school wasn't enough I also have send my baby ehum pre-schooler to elementary school in April of this year.We found a new school for him because we weren't really satisfied with my eldest his school, the tour from the new school was wonderful, they have swimminglessons, musiclessons, a daycare where the lil ones can rest if school is a bit too much, artlessons and the school has separated grades 0 to 3 from grades 4 to 8 so the little ones won't feel quite as small.

When my youngest was born I promised myself that once he would go to elementary school I would start taking classes at the university, I feel extremely unprepared because I still don't know what study I would like to do! 4 years passed so quickly it feels like yesterday that he was born prematurely needing to be fed every hour even at nighttime. The time flies when raising babies, all the worries about teething, solid foods, first steps, vaccinations, pottytraining and bedtime rituals seem like a triviality compared to the new worries about sex-ed, playing truant,drugs and peer pressure. I trust that the Lord will guide our family in this new era, but like every mother in nature I am appropriately apprehensive about sending my babies into the a new world on their own.

II Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the Spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Blessings,
Chayil

Pickled cucumber and red onions

2008-02-22T08:12:00.001-08:00

1 cucumber
1 red onion
1 Scotch Bonnet (make a small batch without this for the kids!)
100 ml water
100 ml vinegar (white)
A few grains of Chinese sugar (this is like a sweetener be careful it is very sweet and needs to be added grain by grain to be able to control the sweetness You may substitute with 2 tablespoons of sugar)
1 tsp whole dried allspice berries
5 cloves
pinch of salt
pinch of black pepper
optional pinch of ajinomoto *

Cut cucumber lengthwise de-seed and cut in slices about 1,5 inch thick, cut red onion in rings, cut pepper in half de-seed. Put water and vinegar in a bowl and add sugar, dried allspice berries, cloves, adjinomoto, salt, black pepper stir well and add cucumber and red onion. Make day before so all the flavors have infused.

I keep empty pickle jars and wash them well with hot water and vinegar and use this to store. This can be kept for quite some time just make sure that you only use a CLEAN PLASTIC spoon or fork to take them out of the jar or it will "curdle"!

*Ajinomoto is a Japanese brand name for MSG, monosodium glutamate, a flavor enhancer. Ac'cent is the primary U.S. brand name, and the Chinese version is called ve-tsin. Please be careful using this too much can cause heart failure if you are cooking for elderly or children under the age of 5 who have never had this in their diet DO NOT USE!!

Lazy red kidney beans stew

2008-02-22T08:10:00.001-08:00

Okay this is one of my favorite lazy day recipes it is made with canned red kidney beans but pls feel free to pre-boil dry beans and use those!

1 large can red kidney beans drained and rinsed
1 onion
2 bay leaves
2 cloves of garlic minced
2 tomatoes deseeded and chopped
1 pack of vegan "ground meat" about 180 to 200 grams (I use the kind made with mushrooms but the one made of soy will do just fine)
2 tablespoons of ketchup
black pepper (1/2 teaspoon)
1tb spoon of brown sugar (or to taste)
1 tb spoon of aromat (or to taste)
1 Scotch Bonnet
2 tablespoons of evoo
Warm water
Add oil to the pot and heat, fry onions and garlic, add "minced meat" and fry for 4 minutes,add drained beans and bayleaves and fry for 3 more minutes, add tomatoes, brown sugar, black pepper, ketchup, stir well and add warm water just enough to cover, season with aromat, put on low heat and add WHOLE 1 Scotch Bonnet, let simmer for 15 minutes.

Serve with rice, fried plantain and pickled cucumbers

If your family consists of large eaters make twice the amount! This is just right for my family of 4 (12 and 3 y.o.)

Homemade vegan pasta/pizza saus

2008-02-22T02:41:00.001-08:00

3 tablespoons of evoo
2 zucchini's (in cubes)
1 onion chopped
5 cloves of garlic (crushed)
4 cans of tomato cubes
10 tablespoons of dried mixed Italian herbs (you can choose to buy fresh herbs I don't because the wilt before I can finish them)
1 tablespoons of brown sugar (you can add a bit more to taste)
Aromat to taste (1,5 tablespoon)

This sauce I use as a basis for homemade pizza's or as pastasaus. this is enough for serving a family of 4 twice so half of it can go in the freezer.
Heat 2 tablespoons of evoo, add onions until "glassy" add garlic, dried Italian herbs and 1 tablespoon of evoo. On medium heat keep stirring until your kitchen smells like the herbs, add zucchini stir, lower heat put lid on and leave to simmer until zucchini is a little softer (not too soft!) add tomato cubes stir and add brown sugar and aromat to taste. Let simmer for about 10 minutes to allow all the flavors to infuse. Use staff mixer or blender to make into a smooth sauce or leave as is if your family likes chunks.
This is in no way a traditional italian recipe it is more like "pasta a la Chayil" :-D this recipe is to familytaste I try to use as little salt and sugar as possible so possibly you will need to add more to your family taste.
I don't know if aromat is available in America but I am sure there are simalar mixes available maybe from Goya?

Blogger craft club re-usable grocery bag

2008-02-11T05:03:00.000-08:00

Last week I was much to tired to sew anything. This week I tried to make my very first tutorial for my dutch budgetting website. It had to be something simple, inexpensive and of good use. I decided on a re-usable grocery bag. I don't like grocery bags with short handles I love one that I can carry on my shoulder instead of killing my fingers.

This is the end result: I have to say I am quite proud of it :-D

Happy crafting everyone I am going to spend some time with my dh it's his b-day today!

Playing catch up

2008-01-30T02:13:00.000-08:00

My house is a mess! I have been doing a little damage control here and there but this home needs lots and lots of TLC to get her back to normal living standards! One of my biggest weaknesses is not knowing how to cope with keeping the home while I am ill, another issue is what things to tackle first after a period of obliged bedrest.

I need to strengthen a bit more before venturing back into the real world on my own, so I had to cancel todays sewinglesson.

Lil man is @ the daycare till 13:00 and I decided that this would give me plenty of time to slowly conquer the worse space of my home. The family learn/craft/language closet.

I took some pics to show you'll what I was dealing with and to share the end result.

The before and after shot ;-) I am not a good photographer and have no idea why the doors look slanted LOL

I know what your thinking! Why did I let it get this messy, but I was just to sick to even care that the kids and dh took stuff out and just threw them back in! And yes we love boardgames this is only 1/3 of our collection the kids have more on their bookshelves. Now I need to find just a lil more energy to mop up the icky's that came out of that closet and to remove paint that is still left around the house from my quick painting action about 11 months ago (blush) I remove about 4 to 6 of those stains weekly lol I will be still removing when I get bitten by another paintbug that makes me do it all over again.

The top shelve is remnant of what did not fit on the bookshelves around the house and I just can't let them go yet.

My eldest son his teacher is coming over for tea tomorrow so I sorted some boardgames that we either don't enjoy anymore or have double to give to him for school.

I am dead tired now so I am going to take some painkillers and take a lil nap before the kids come home.

Blessings,

Chayil

Blogger craft club

2008-01-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

Just a quick upload of my first Blogger Craft Club project. Lil man took the pic so it looks a bit odd LOL Will try to post new pics later this week :-)

ETA: Thanks ladies! I think these are called madras check in english, in my homeland these fabrics are used for pangi's (decorated fabric wrapped around the waist) and anisa's (headwraps). My mom send quite a few of these fabrics and I decided to use them to make day to day items so everytime I see one I think of home.

Examples of pangi's

Lady decorating a pangi by hand

Source

Have a beautiful week!

2008-01-28T04:41:00.000-08:00

Siroop=stroop=syrup?

2008-01-27T02:27:00.000-08:00

Today I taught my eldest son how to make syrup. Syrup or stroop as surinamese call it or siroop as the dutch call it is a thick sugarsyrup with essences and citric acid. It is used as a "lemonade" diluted with water and given to children as a drink (okay so it might be a kid drink but I love it and so do all the other grownups I know )

I have searched several american sites for a bottled syrup to show a pic but I could not find any! Is this true don't american's make homemade syrup? There are so many benefits for making your own syrup: it's cheap, it's tasty, you know exactly what flavors go in so you can minimize the artificial flavors, you can make sugarfree syrop for diabetics and it's quick too!

This is the recipe for syrup made with white sugar and pineapple and cola flavor

Ingredients:

1 pk of white sugar (1 kilo)
2 glasses of water (500 ml half a liter)
food aroma essence* (2 teaspoons in total so one of each if using different flavors)
citric acid (1 teaspoon)

Put the sugar and water in a pot and stir. Put the pot on a medium heat and stir every 2 min. When sugar starts to boil (large bubbles not just the lil ones on the side) turn heat off and place pot somewhere to cool off) The fluid will turn into a clear syrup like this: see the sugar crystals on the side of the pot? That's what happens to the syrup when it gets cold, the cytric acid and food aroma prevent this from happening when cooled off)

Once cooled off (not totally cold but lukewarm if you leave it to cool off completely the sugar will start to form crystals on top of the syrop) add the citric acid and stir well, add 2 teaspoons of the food aroma essence and stir well. Pour syrup in a large CLEAN AND DRY bottle. You can use the syrup to make a drink 1 prt to 4 prts of cold water. Or you can make snow cones. Keep in mind that this syrup is made for home-use and not for commercial purposes when diluted the drink will be very lightly coloured but the taste is just right.
* I usually use this kind of aroma essence but I found this brand in the chinese store yesterday and I gave it a try and it worked just fine! Any aroma essence will do just make sure you use a fruit flavor and not something like vanilla or almond, in the Netherlands they are usually sold in chinese or surinamese stores but I am sure you can buy them anywhere in the States.

Enjoy!

ETA: pic of the syrup cooling off in my kitchen window-sill

Lasertherapy, weightloss and crafts

2008-01-26T01:24:00.000-08:00

Still not completely recovered even though I am feeling much better. Apart from not being able to lift up my left arm further than my chest and the irritating spontaneous fevers I am doing okay. The hospital called and they asked me if I would like to participate in a experimental new therapy that includes lasers. The tricky thing is that I because it is experimental my insurance won't pay for it. This will cost me about 220 euros monthly for I have no clue how many months. I have decided to go for an intake and see what the doctors say. If they think that the illness is to far progressed I won't be able to participate, I am praying that this will be the answer to my problem. I refuse surgery because it is mentally killing me! In the last 10 yrs I've had around 60 operations all with total anaesthesia. I have memory loss due to this and it also gave me agoraphobia (which in the last year I have been fighting with great result) because my whole life was indoors either in the hospital or at home.

I can't wait for my skin to ease my friend asked me to join her and her sis for aqua jogging and I really really would love to do this! My body needs to tone up! I don't want to loose weight right now because I am hardly moving and that really shows every ounce lost is turning into flabby skin YUCK! So no more weight loss until I can do my Pilate's, yoga, walking and aqua jogging again. It is hard not to loose weight because I am not hungry at all due to the painkillers and fever. Last night dh went and got me "patatje oorlog" that is what the dutch call fries served with mayonnaise, peanut sauce and onions I know it sounds disgusting and I usually think so too but I ate it LOL all in the name of staying at the exact weight I am in now. It was really sweet of dh seeing that he is still master cleansing and was drooling all over my fries. Today is day 10 of his master cleanse and this man lost 22 pounds in 10 days!!! Starting tomorrow he will be breaking the fast and he asked me to make one of his favorites stir-fried noodles with paksoi and ginger on wednesday when he is allowed to eat normal again. He demanded that I make the exact same dishes in the following days so he can eat what we ate while he was suffering LMAO!

I started working on one of the projects for the Blogger Craft Club okay I am not going to lie I actually finished one of the projects I know I know we weren't starting till Monday but I was bored! Really, really, really bored! But that is okay because I was so drugged up due to the painkillers I made a million and one mistakes! My lines are quite crooked but other than that it's wonderful ;-P.

Okay I need to get ready to go to the market with dh and lil man (the big lil man is at a soccer game) we need to get oranges for the breaking of his fast and some other veggies and fruits. I am going to get some fabric for my niece her birthday gifts (apron and chef's hat and I will add a set to bake cookies and some cookie recipes my kids like) she's going to be 3 and she is as cute as a button LOL I am praying that I will make it to her birthday party this year caus I haven't made it to any yet!!! My first niece ever and I haven't attended any of her b-day parties! Every year around her b-day I am too sick and need to be hospitalized. Not this year I will go no matter what!!!

Okay I really need to go now I am leaving you with a pic of my lil one and my niece. They are not only cousins but best-friends too :-D

Blessings,

Empress?

2008-01-21T01:17:00.000-08:00

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

V.C. update

2008-01-18T00:10:00.000-08:00

I started the master cleanse and had to stop about 5 hours later! It made me extremely sick, fainting, headaches, nausea and fatigue! My body went into shock due to the saltwater flush and all the maplesyrop! I hardly use salt and sugar in daily life, and my body was already dead tired because of illness this was just too much.

I have somewhat recovered and I have decided to fast the way I always do with water but this time I will also add fruit and raw veggie shakes to make sure I get all the nutrition's I need. On the up side DH decided to do the master cleanse! Everything was already in the home he started yesterday and so far so good well he does have some hunger but not to extreme. My oh my how quick does a man's body pull itself back into shape! I can already see the change in his belly in just 24 hours!!! Lucky man.

So far I have lost more weight than I expected and lost some cm too.

I am still tired but the pain is less and certainly less frequent. Thanks again for all the support ladies. I will be visiting all of you before end of the weekend caus I am sooo curious to see what you all have been up too.

Blessings,
Chayil

Nothing new really

2008-01-15T00:08:00.000-08:00

Thanks ladies for keeping me in your prayers!

I am still in pain, my right arm and back are totally "soured" I didn't start the master cleanse yet because it is that time of the month and I read online that it's best to wait till that is over. I am going to try and get the maplesyrop and sennatea today or send dh to get it for me. I purchased a crate of lemons and just looking at them gives me "sour teeth" LOL

I am so encredibly bored it's just not funny! I've read the first 2 chapters of Thrift in the Household by Dora Morrell Hughes I think I will go and read another chapter shhhh don't tell the other ladies from the blogger bookclub ;-) Tried to sew but after making the same mistake 3 times I figured that painkillers and sewing does not make a good match. I want to go jogging do some yoga or any other kind of movement but my body is just not having it.

I have to go and lay down now the painkillers are slowly taking over my senses.

Isn't my south park "me" adorable? If you want to make one just click

Sick and sad.

2008-01-11T06:03:00.000-08:00

Well it is official I am sick again! My armpits are totally swollen and infected due to a skin dis-ease I have. I can't lift my right arm further than my chest without fainting from pain. I am so sick and tired, I called the hospital and they told me to come in for an emergency operation but I refused. I just cannot handle that anymore, in the past I was operated on every 2 months and eventhough the operations are short (no longer than 1 hour) I still need total anestesia and it takes up to 2 months to recover wich means by the time one spot heals I get to go back and be cut open again! No thanks! It's lost labour to me infection/operation/heal/start again at infection and so on and so on you get my drift right? The anestesia has caused me to loose quite a bit of my memory I can hardly remember my elders his childhood! It's caused fatique and icening on the cake it caused my anemia to play up yes ladies I am anemic as well. How lucky can one girl be!

I've decided to try a master cleanse to see if I can get rid of all the toxins in my body. I want to do it right so I won't be taking painkillers during that time. I will start coming monday and will continue for 10 days if I didn't die of pain I will continue to complete the 40 days they recommend for chronic ill. I'm not worried about not eating caus I am hardly able to eat right now anyway.

I am truly at the end of my rope, so pray for me that this is going to help.

I won't blog much am not doing much so there is not much to blog about.

"For I, the Lord thy God, will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear Not! I will help thee." Isaiah 41:13

Blessings,
Chayil

Craft club anyone?

2008-01-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

Hadias over @ A day in the life of... started a "blogger craft club" she posted links to free crocheting patterns but since I can't crochet (nor knit BLUSH) I decided to find some sewing patterns and join in on the fun ;-)

This is the purse found @ kwik sew I will be making, click for free pattern.

This is the apron I found @ barij.typepad.com & the free pattern (I have been wanting to make one of thesee for the longest time! )

Ah yes the scarf found at Amy butler designs & the free pattern

and last but not least the tote found over at u-handbag.typepad.com & free pattern.

The craft club will start on January 28th hurry up and join, it will be great fun!

Blessings,

Better Budget Challenge #1 — Our budgeting experiences Weekly feature

2008-01-07T00:45:00.000-08:00

I have decided to join in on, Kacie from sensetosave.com, her better budget 2008 challenge. Click to go to the challenge

Better Budget Challenge #1 — Our budgeting experiences Weekly feature

How have you used a budget in the past? I’ve used an excel-sheet to track my budgeting in the past well no actually several excel-sheets one for recurring expenses like rent/gas/insurances etc and one for groceries/days out/gifts etc I’m not to pleased about the system because it does not really serve our family. I can stick to a budget just fine but in times that I am hospitalized or just to ill to get out of bed I have no control over the budget. I feel like I am playing: “catch up to the budget” for most of the year!

If you’ve never had a budget, how have you made decisions on how to manage your household finances? We established a budget when I was forced to go out of the work field. Before that we had either so little money a budget was not needed there was no money to keep track of every single guilder (now euro) had a destination LOL or we had enough to satisfy every want and need immediately no saving no budgeting no real awareness of money.

How did you put your budget to work? Fist thing I did when our income was deposited was pay all the recurring expenses after that I would set aside the monthly budget for food and what was left was divided amongst misc bills and bill collectors and occasionally a part would go to the saving accounts. Dh leaves the total of finances to me and it is frustrating to say the least! If I wasn’t ill I probably would not mind but because there are long periods of time that I am “out of the running” so to speak this one of the biggest setbacks for our family finance.

In what ways did your budget (or lack of) work for you?
It worked in a sense that there was never an issue of recurring expenses being late or not paid at all wich did put a sense of ease in my mind. There was always enough money to eat and drink wich is especially important when one has children.

In what ways did it fail?
There was never any real savings, misc bills would be left and sometimes forgotten until a bill collector send a letter about it and we would pay the bill and all the extra costs wich would make the bill 2 to sometimes 3 times as high as it was initially.

Think about your past experiences with budgets and your home finances. How do you want to use a budget in your personal finances? Do you want a system that you update every time you make a purchase? Every month? Do you want to have spending guidelines? I think for our family spending guidelines would work best. Tracking every penny that leaves this house just doesn’t work when dh is in charge of the budget, he did promise to look into it this year and to get himself familiar with our spending and I am grateful for that. This is why I want to establish a budget that is oversee able and realistic even when he orders out food from time to time to feed the kids when I am sick or has to pay a sitter in order to get some time to himself. Maybe set up a lil fund for times like this, with money that he can spend freely without having to be accountable for it.

What is your overall purpose in establishing a household budget? What do you hope to gain from it? Do you want to get out of debt? Have money to save or invest? Reduce your expenses? Have a better idea of where your money is going? We would like to be totally debt free we have paid off almost 60% of our total debts in the last years but we would like to set up home outside of the Netherlands and do not want to have any financial obligations left. I have set 2 more years to achieve this. I would also love a system that keeps tracks of the misc bills and their due dates so no more late-fees have to be paid. Another thing that would be wonderful is to lower our spending on groceries.

Anything else you want to mention about your past or future budgets?
The biggest burden on our budget is travelling. It has gotten so bad now that I recent having to travel to my homeland! Now don’t get me wrong I love to see my family but spending over 5000 euros for a few weeks of visiting family is just not worth it to me! The last time I visited was in 2005 and I had to use all my reserves and savings for this trip. This was now 3 yrs ago and my family expects us to visit again this year because they want to see us and especially the grandchildren. I fully understand this but they can’t seem to understand that if I use 5000 euros I will have to play catch up with finances for the next 2 years till it is time for the next forced trip. I have no idea how to overcome this, my grandmother is simply to old and ill to travel and I can fully understand that she wants to see the kids and us but this way we will never reach our financial goals! I wish there was some kind of solution for this one that made all of us happy and still leaves space for financial growth as a family. I know that dh understands that I want to visit my family but his sister lives in China and she has not seen our youngest ever and has not seen her brother and nephew for 4 years! I can imagine that he would love to visit her as well, but there is no budget for that! I really need help with this one! I pray about it and try to ease my soul with the idea that my grandmother needs this but the little voice in my head keeps asking me what about the family needs :-(

Remember my goal?

2008-01-06T04:13:00.000-08:00

My goal was to lower my weekly budget to 75 euro's a week instead of the 100 euro's. Now I shamefully have to admit that these last days we kept to no budget! I have no real idea of what was spend because of illness I haven't been able to join dh in grocery shopping. He has done a great job doing the groceries but he never looks at prices or go to the market and aldi to find good deals. If I have to guess we spend about 200 euro's on groceries in 2008 already! Yes I know that is twice my budget and I could get upset about it but I have decided to just feel blessed that my dh has taken over my task when it was impossible for me to do so myself. I already felt bad when I asked him about the budget and he was not able to give me a reasonable answer I get the feeling he felt interogated or maybe even belittled that I asked him (the provider) about where the rest of the money was. I just left it at that caus he wouldn't be able to make it appear again and why fight/cry over spilled milk.

Starting monday I hope to get back on track and from now on I will make specific lists with stores and prices listed so dh and my eldest know exactly where to get the groceries.

I just ran into this beautiful photogallery on time.com about what the world eats. The gallery is full of beautiful pictures of families around the globe with their weekly spendings and food that they eat weekly.

I was shocked to see how much families spend weekly! Another conclusion that can be taken from these pictures is rich country (1st world countries) equals unhealthy eating and drinking habits!

I myself come from a third world country and as the twig is bent, the tree is inclined. I make almost every meal from scratch. No canned veggies, or boxed or frozen foods I do have some canned goods in my pantry but I might use them once every 3 months certainly not every day! I make pizza's and meals and freeze them for days that I am simply to tired or in pain to cook. Well once again I am grateful for my upbringing! Thankful for my heritage!

Japan: The Ukita family of Kodaira City

Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or $317.25

Favorite foods: sashimi, fruit, cake, potato chips

Italy: The Manzo family of Sicily

Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11

Favorite foods: fish, pasta with ragu, hot dogs, frozen fish sticks

Chad: The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp

Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or $1.23

Favorite foods: soup with fresh sheep meat

Kuwait: The Al Haggan family of Kuwait City

Food expenditure for one week: 63.63 dinar or $221.45

Family recipe: Chicken biryani with basmati rice

United States: The Revis family of North Carolina

Food expenditure for one week: $341.98

Favorite foods: spaghetti, potatoes, sesame chicken

Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca

Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09

Favorite foods: pizza, crab, pasta, chicken

China: The Dong family of Beijing
Food expenditure for one week: 1,233.76 Yuan or $155.06
Favorite foods: fried shredded pork with sweet and sour sauce

Click here to see all the pics in the gallery.

Are you just as inspired to spend less when you see the picture of The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp? Wow imagine that having to life on $1.23 dollars a week with the whole family!
I am going to find a program to sponsor one or two of the families in the camps with some of the money that I am saving on groceries.

Love and blessings,

Chayil

Are you on track? I think I am :-)

2008-01-06T04:02:00.000-08:00

Everything is going nice and steady eating and movement wise. I have become ill again and can hardly lift up my arms wich is the reason that I have decided not to start with weightlifting and also have put yoga on pause (eventhought it breaks my heart :-( ) But I did go for my weekly walks and have stretched all other bodyparts that don't hurt. I didn't go jogging/running just yet caus I only have free-time or actually childfree time in the evening when the roads are full of glazed frost.

I have to encrease my daily intake, I have been eating way to lil again due to the painkillers and I am scared that if I continue to eat this way I won't loose any weight like last time! My body tends to hold on to every ounce of fat when I eat to little.

I am going to weigh and measure myself on the 15th of this month caus I don't want to obcess about inches and pounds.

Nothing much to report I have stopped the midnight feasts and replaced them with a big mug of herbal tea.

Hope everyone is right on track with their weightloss goals!

Moksie Alesie

2008-01-05T03:26:00.000-08:00

I promised my online friend "Reflection" that I would share some vegetable recipes with her. I don't want to overflow her comments with long recipes so I decided to make a recipe corner on the blog.

Moksie alesie (mixed rice) little history this dish is originally a slave dish. Slaves where given left-overs from the main kitchen. By mixing all of these left-overs delicious dishes were created, we (Surinamese) to this day still enjoy our ancestors their recipes. Now don’t be fooled the meals are just as tasty as they are inexpensive and always healthy!

Ingredients (please adapt to left overs in your own fridge! I have made this dish vegan, vegetarian, with all kinds of meat left-overs for my uncles as long as you make sure that a phalanx of fluid is covering the rice feel free to experiment with beans I have used red kidney beans (not a favourite) and butterbeans (extremely yummie!) Lots of people add dried shrimps but we don’t eat shellfish but if you like and have some in the fridge just add some!

100 gr of left over fish/red meat or chicken cut in small pieces or pulled apart to shred
1 small smoked fish (deboned and skinned)
1 onion
2 cloves of garlic
1 scottisch bonet pepper
250 grams of oxheart cabbage (sliced in thin long pieces I slice cabbage in half first then remove the “heart” and cut in length strip with a breadknife works for me lol)
500 grams of rice (washed and drained)
125 gram black eye peas (preboiled and soffened I preboil a kilo at a time and then devide in ziplocs and freeze)
1 veggie cube could be replaced by beef or chicken cube
2 large tomatoes
250 ml of coconut milk
2 tb spoons of tomatoepaste
Black peper and salt to taste
Oil

preparation
Add oil to the pot (about 4 tbspoons) fry the onions until glassy then add the garlic, add small cut tomatoes and the stock cube. Simmer for about 5 minutes (add bit of water if needed)

Add smoked fish, left-over meat/fish, tomatopaste, black eye peas taste and add black pepper and salt to taste (this should taste quite strong!)

Add rice and coconutmilk add water until rice is covered with a phalanx of fluid, stir and let come to a boil put lid on and put the pot on the lowest possible gas. Leave to simmer (do not remove lid) for 30 minutes.

Then place cabbage and pepper on top and let simmer again for 15 more minutes. Remove pepper and stir cabbage carefully in the rice using a vork put pepper back and leave covered off heat for 5 more min.

Serve with pickled cucumbers or pickles sliced, the pepper cut in pieces or other hot peppersauce (for grown-ups only I give my kids a teaspoon of ketchup as "hotsauce"), and fried ripe plantain (recipe below).

Ingredients:

1 ripe plantain
oil

preparation
1. Peel plantain by making 2 incisions on opposite sides of the plantain skin and then peel.
2. Slice the plantains into 2 in the middle (width not length - like breaking a banana in 2).
3. Cut up both pieces of plantains into 1/4 inch slices longways.
4. Heat skillet filled with just enough oil to cover the 1/4 inch slices.
5. Fry plantain slices until golden brown on each side.
6. Each slice needs about 45 seconds to a minute to cook.
7. Be careful not to burn.
8. Place cooked plantain in a dish layered with napkins so as to drain/soak up the oil.

Serves 4

Njang switi! (enjoy your meal! in sranang tongo the native language of Surinam)

The dish will have an "orangy" color due to the tomatoes and tomato paste and will have a creamy taste thanks to the coconutmilk.

This weeks menu

2008-01-05T02:15:00.000-08:00

Saturday: rice, cabbage and baked tilapia

Sunday:"paksoi stamppot" mashed potatoes mixed with vegetables (veggie milk and cheese are added)

Monday:chow mein with sliced carrots, onions, peas and bean sprouts (vegan)

Tuesday:kindney beans and rice (vegan)

Wednesday*Spaghetti with zucchini(*My eldest will be getting cooking lessons from me every wednesday, the recipes will be easy and healthy)

Thursday: homemade fries with homemade salmonballs and a raw salad

Friday: Heri Heri this is a typical surinam dish, the dish was made by slaves and consists of boiled patatoes, casave, plantain (both green and ripe) 1 boiled egg, 1 leafy vegetable (steamed with salt, pepper, garlic)

Busy busy busy

2008-01-05T00:54:00.000-08:00

I am soo tired! I am busy realising a blog for my website, and there is so much work involved when you have no staff to help. Everything is done by me with help of my dh, writing articles, research, hosting the forum, writing recipes, answering emails, designing and advertising.

A few years ago I had cousins, and girlfriends calling me at all hours of the day asking me how to apply for studentloans, student gifts, daycare, how to keep their home and how to raise their babies. I was the first of them to have gone through all of that since I had my first son at 20 years old. After 1 yr recovery period in and out of the hospital after my c-section, I picked up my study and worked 40-60 hours a week in order to be able to pay for my education, dh his education and the lil one his daycare.
I decided to make an msn-group in wich I could post all the tips and tricks for my cousins and girlfriends. This way they could access the information at any time and I could get some sleep LOL After a few months the group had more members than I had friends and cousins, other people had found their way to the group. This was not what it was intended for because now there where other women who wanted advice and started posting questions on how to do things and where to go in their town for help. I decided to make a website and did months and months of research because I did not want to provide anyone wrong information. The website is now 2 yrs old and we have about 6000 visitors a month, the next logical step for me was making a blog in order to inspire women and mothers to talk to each other and learn from each other. The website is neutral there is no religious talk on it, I live in a country that was famous worldwide for it's tolerance. In the 16 years I have lived here I was witness of how this country was influenced by the rest of the world, people becoming more and more intolerent of diversity of our small society. What a beautiful society it was! I hope that this blog will help me unite mothers of all creeds and walks of life to start talking to each other again and to realise once again that we are all the same and we all want the same a healthy, loving, tolerant society that is blind to race and faith to raise our youth.

So yes I am busy and I hope that soon all mothers in the netherlands can benefit from the fruits of my labour. That one thought is the thing that keeps me going well that an coffee ;-)

I know that most women help other women in their circle I encourage you to step out of your circle and reach a hand to a women of different race or creed. How beautiful would the world be if we were all FREE?

Proverbs 6:16-19

2008-01-01T03:16:00.000-08:00

"16These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."

It's the first of january and as I said before I have set a goal for myself to read the kebra negast and the holy bible in the coming 2 years. I am still looking for a good guide to help me read both of them. So if anybody has suggestions/links or scedules please share! Untill I have found a good guide I will just open up both books and allow GOD to guide me through them.

As I was waking up today, stretching and getting ready for prayer a thought about the 7 deadly sins came to mind. A few years ago dh MADE ME LOL watch a movie called the 7 deadly sins with him. Just thinking about it still gives me the creeps. As in most movies, things were majorly exagerated. As I allowed my thoughts to drift away I wondered where those 7 deadly sins came from (ofcourse I knew that it's origin lies in the bible but the exact verse was unknown to me).

I found out that the 7 deadly sins are derived directly from Proverbs 6:16-19. The church later decided to adapt them to teach moral lessons to his followers.

These are the original 7 capital vices:
Luxuria (extravagance, later lust)
Gula (gluttony)
Avaritia (greed)
Acedia (sloth)
Ira (wrath)
Invidia (envy)
Superbia (pride)

I would like you to take a minute well maybe an hour and write down all of those vices wich you have commited. When you are finished writing them read them aloud to yourself. I ask you to open up your heart and allow this knowledge of self to soften your judgemental spirit and focus on your own sins rather than the sins of others!

Now I know that a lot of people actually think they are not committing any vices and live according to the word of the Lord always. That thought alone to me is one of the greatest sins!

Let's take a look at "modern day sinning", hey let's use me as an example.

I will walk through all the vices and admit where I went wrong. Admittence is the first step to recovery, right? So here I go!

Luxuria (extravagance, later lust) Oh how I used to love jewelry, beautiful expensive clothes and everything that sparkles LOL now I say used to caus I have worn jewelry about 6x in the last year and I don't even wear a ring on my finger. I still love beautiful clothes but have made peace with homemade or less expensive clothing. In the last years I have walked away from the idea that my home needs to be redecorated every year and I have even let go of the idea that all things need to be brand spanking new.

Now please do not get me wrong I am not pointing fingers at anyone I am not saying all remove wedding bands caus it is a sign of luxuria ( I stopped wearing jewelry for totally different reasons: Do you have any idea how horrible the feel when nurses are pulling and fighting to get jewelry off of you when you are being prepped for an emergency operation?!) I am simply asking you to check yourself! Do you get a feeling of appreciation when your dh or so slips you diamonds or pearls? Do you get depressed or sad when you cannot afford a new ........ (fill in blanks shoes/purse/dress)?

I used to and I have to admit I sometimes still get a stingy feeling when I set aside money for new shoes and a dentistbill or something is so urgent the money is better spend of that. I am fighting the feeling though.

As for lust well I think eventhough I am raised in a Roman Catholic family, sex and all that comes with it, was never seen as sinfull but as a divine (could it be the indian blood that is running threw our vains?). No one as far as I can remember ever stressed marriage or abstanence to us as teens or young adults. All that was asked of us was to think for oneself never to allow others to missuse us and visa versa, to always simply always treat your body like a temple. I am grateful for the upbringing I have had, I see no sins in making love to the one GOD has chosen for you to spend the rest of your life with. There are a few things I do think of as sinful when it comes to sex the first is adultery and the second is confronting children with sexual images. I live in a country where sex is advertised at all hours of the day! Commercials full of sexual contents like a perfume or deoderant wich makes people lust after one another or burger commercials with someone clearly committing adultery trying to cover a burger instead of the "other woman". I can go on and on and I am sure so can you. I try and protect my young ones their eyes by carefully choosing the channels they are allowed to watch, by simply asking them to zap when a commercial that is not suitable for the eyes of children (or anyone for that matter) comes along and when the eldest wants to watch a countdown or whatever on mtv or any other music channel dh always watches with him if it is innapropriate it will be turned off no excuses!

Gula (gluttony) Euhm what can I say about it! I am fighting this daily! let's take a closer look at gluttony. One might think that gluttony is simply overeating but it is far more complexed than that.

Gluttony can be divided in:
Praepropere - eating too soon
Laute - eating too expensively
Nimis - eating too much
Ardenter - eating too eagerly
Studiose - eating too daintily Avaritia (greed)

Take a closer look at yourself and be honest to thy ownself! Does one or more of these explanations remind you of yourself? I know that they remind me of me and eventhough I fast once a week and vulanteer and the "foodbank" it does not excuse my mistakes.

Acedia (sloth) I can keep it short and simple all women/mothers/homemakers I know have failed in this one. Come on admit it if only to yourself how often do you tend to go behind the computer, crawl on the couch with a book or turn around in the morning for just 15 min more of sleep, instead of tending to the home? When you know that the appereance of your home is far from GODLY? I intend to use my control journal to keep my home in great order this year. Whenever I tend to slack off I will remind myself: "Cleanliness is next to godliness"

Ira (wrath) I have been known to have a tongue to be scared off. I remember when my brother came to introduce his then girlfriend to the family he pulled me aside and said:"be gentle with her!" I am not mean spirited and as far as I can remember and tell I have never ever said anything to anybody out of malice nor have I ever said anything that wasn't the truth. The fact remains that even if it wasn't meant maliscious or that it was the truth does not mean that it wasn't hurtful to the person on the recieving end! Despite my tongue my siblings and cousins still tend to come to me first for advice, and some refer to me jokingly as their priest as they tell me all their mishaps. I am happy to say that I am learning to stop myself by repeating proverbs 31:26 "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue" in my head before saying anything that could be interpreted as malicious.

Another example of wrath in my life is when mean mommy walks in the door! Read Hadias her blog and letter to mean mommy than you will understand what I mean.

Invidia (envy) I am not by nature an envious person I tend to be just as happy or happier LOL for my loved ones when they make promotions, get pregnant, give birth or any other joyous occasions in their lives. I tend to cry when I see people doing something good for another on tv and I have no need or intention to keep up with the Joneses. Still I am envious in my times of deepest despair. I am ill and from time to time I cry all day thinking about how unfair it is that I am sick and my siblings aren't, that my kids might have to do without me sooner than other kids, that I cannot tend to dh his phisical needs when I am in pain. After an episode of envy comes shame and regret caus I can assure you I am blessed! Blessed with siblings and cousins that take care of my family financially or any other way like it is their own. I have women in my family that are not only willing and able to take care of my sons if anything would happen to me they would see it as a privilage! I have a dh that has never ever in our life together felt deprived of anything.

Superbia (pride) Ah at last pride I come from a tribe of proud women! Women that don't need a man to take care of them. Women that can do all things themselves. Women that don't take no Sh*T from anyone. Hey I can honestly say that I was raised to be proud! LOL Oh how my poor poor dh suffered from my pride! I worked for 60 hours a week when we met and paid for everything myself and refused to even take a gift from him caus as I reminded him I make far more money than you (he was still studying at that time) Sometimes I think that I am ill because I needed to learn a lesson! A lesson in humility! I have no choice but to except others their help and care when I am sick and it has taught me that recieving gracefully is just as important as giving!

John 8:7 "So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

Romans 2:1"Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things."

Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge so that you will not be judged."

Wishing you all a safe and tasty turn of the year!

2007-12-31T02:28:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, uhm how bout a new year's resolution?

2007-12-31T01:02:00.000-08:00

I shamefully have to admit that I have fallen off the wagon, ALREADY!!
I drank my 3 ltrs of water had my 2 pieces of fruit, controlled my portionsize but stuffed my face after 8 p.m. It's not my fault really, I blame the hubbie! He has been bringing temptation into the bedroom (different kind than usual (wink))and eventhough I have resisted the chocolatecake he brought last night and took a fuji apple and some popcorn instead. it's still eating past 8! So far I have eaten after 8 for every frickin' day of the valentine's challenge! From bonbons to popcorn to somewhat healthy apples. So I promise myself from now on (xcept for 2-night come on ya'll I can't stop eating at 8 tonight when I will be up till next morning/afternoon) I will NOT EAT AFTER 8P.M. Tonight I will share my new years resolutions with dh and I will make sure he understands that NO FOOD is to come into the bedroom! NO HE AIN'T ALLOWED EITHER! Wonder how that last sentence is gonna go down but a girl can try right?

So say goodbye to 2007 and the undercover eaters! Hello 2008 full of healthy wise food choices!

Signed a recovered undercover eater!

Too the love of my life..

2007-12-29T05:05:00.000-08:00

If ever a song was written about how I feel about my dh it's cater 2 U from destiny's child. Eventhough most women I know think that the lyrics are nauseating, I think this is the way every women should feel! Face it if ya don't feel it that man is not the right man for you! I love my boo and I enjoy catering 2 him. How could you not want to serve the man that provides for you, takes care of your children and all of that with a smile and gentle heart?! So for all you ladies who love and need to cater to their men. Enjoy! For the rest of ya'll I pray that someday you will find your soulmate that you will want to cater 2.

Baby I see you workin' hard
I want to let cho know I'm Proud
let you know that I admire what you do
The more if I need to reassure you, my life would
be purposeless without you
If I want (got it)
When I ask you (you provide it)
You inspire me to be better
You challenge me for the better
Sit back and let me pour out my love letter

Let me help you
Take off your shoes
Untie your shoestrings
Take off your cufflinks
What you wanna eat boo
Let me feed you
Let me run your bathwater,
What ever you desire, I'll apsire
Sing you a song
Turn my game on
I'll brush your hair
Help you put your do rag on
Want a foot rub
You want a manicure
Baby I'm yours I want to cater to you boy

Let me cater to you
Cause baby this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby you blow me away
I got cha slippers ya dinner ya dessert
and so much more
Anything you want just let me cater to you
Inspire me from the heart,
can't nothing tear us apart
You're all I want in a man;
I put my life in your hands
I got cha slippers ya dinner ya dessert
and so much more
Anything you want, I want to cater to you

Baby I'm happy you're home
let me hold you in my arms
I just want to take the stress away from you
Making sure that I'm doing my part
Boy is there something you need me to do
If you want it (i got it)
Say the word I (i will try it)
I know whatever I'm not fulfilling
No other woman is willing
I'm going to fulfill you mind, body and spirit
I promise you
I'll keep myself up
Remain the same chick
You fell in love with
I'll keep it tight, I'll keep my figure right
I'll keep my hair fixed,keep rockin my
hottest outfits
When you come home late tap me on my shoulder,
I'll roll ova
Baby I heard you, I'm here to serve you
(i'm lovin it i'm lovin it)
If it's love you need, to give it is my joy
All I want to do, is cater to you boy

I want to give you my breath, my strength,
my will to be here
That's the least I can do,
Let me cater to you
Through the good
The bad
The up and the downs
I'll still be here for you
Let me cater to you
Cause you're beautiful
I love the way you are
Fulfill your every desire
Your wish is my command
I want to cater to my man
Your heart
So pure your love shines through
The darkness we'll get through
So much of me is you
I want to cater to my man

Day one of the valentine's challenge :-)

2007-12-28T01:54:00.001-08:00

I made some new tickers to track my waist and weight for the valentine's challenge.

As you can see I gained some pounds due to way to much eating and the time of the month. I also changed my goal from 125 to 121 will I make it dunno but it will be fun to try :-P

Today I will drink at least 2 ltrs of water and eat 2 pieces of fruit

Hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and is ready for the battle against the lbs!

Remember my virtual model?

2007-12-21T01:56:00.001-08:00

Goal~~~~~~~~ 09/12/07~~~~~~ Today

Not bad right?! I'm getting there slowly but surely :-D

Last day of the Fall Challenge!

2007-12-21T01:09:00.001-08:00

Today is the last day of my fall challenge! My goal was to loose 15 pounds as you can see in the chart below I have lost exactly 18 pounds!!!

I need to loose 6.2 more pounds to be at my ideal weight of 125.4! I have set myself a new challenge, the valentine's day challenge ;-) I will have to loose the remaining pounds before february 14 th 2008. I will start on the 28th of December this way I can tackle the inevitable christmas pounds.

Hope all you ladies have reached goals/ changed patterns and are feeling ready and able to tackle anything!
C-you all @ the valentine challenge!

4 days till christmas eve!

2007-12-20T00:20:00.000-08:00

And I still have loads to do!

Dust vacuum and mop my bedroom

finish the bathroom buy new showercurtain I am tired of the circulating 2 :-)

Clean out pantry reorganize and check what needs to be bought

Empty all laundrybaskets well at least till tonight when we fill them up again we all know that that is a neverending story!

Work on homebinder for 30 min

cook

walk with my walking buddy so much fun :-D

Okay off to do my chores!

Define me! ( I dare you lol)

2007-12-17T23:48:00.000-08:00

Christ-mas (yes Christ-mas not christmas the time that evolves and revolves around gifts and loads of food but Christ-mas the actual celebration of Jezus Christ) time is/was always the time to reflect on my faith and religion.

This year is a little different well no a lot different. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic and as a little girl I've always enjoyed going to church. After moving to Amsterdam, it took a while but I joined the church my great-aunt (may she rest in peace) was a member of and felt right at home. A few years ago I moved to a dutch town, now having a family of my own, the first thing I did after making sure my family was comfortable at home was find a Catholic church.

The father was a great man, he welcomed us with open arms, the church members where a different story! The members consisted of elderly white people only! With the exception of 3 young (white) families. All the time that we were in the church for mass and for after church coffee and tea there was not one word spoken to us! Dh decided never to go back to that church but I felt like we needed to give it some time and went to mass every sunday with my son. 3 months later still not a word uttered to me, my son who was going to sundayschool in the church was asked again and again how come he was brown and why his daddy was white by the other kids. Now I understand curiousity in kids but I feel that the sundayschool teacher was supposed to talk about it with the kids once and than kindly ask them to stick to the subject of the day, and not my son his race! My son did not experience any trauma from these incidents he just kept repeating his answers caus he is and always was extremely comfortable in his own skin. The thing that creeped me out the most is when I saw a picturebook the sundayschool teacher was using with a blond haired, blue eyed Jezus!!! Come on people are you really that racist that you would change the appearance of the LORD to make you feel more superior?!!! For me that was THE sign I walked out the church after mass to never return. The father came to visit us and talked, pleaded for us to come back promised he would talk to the congregation but I just couldn't! I mean is my family really that repulsive that the father needs to talk to the congregation to accept us? Merely because we are an interracial family not because we are rude or antisocial or for any valid reason but for the colour of our skin?! After that I visited more catholic churches in the village but all felt the same to me. Uninviting, cold, rude and dare I say racist. I decided to pray at home with my family, when visiting family in Amsterdam we would go to the church I went to as a teenager. I felt at ease with my decision.

When Pope Johannes Paulus II died in April 2005 (may he rest in peace) I was praying for a more liberal more understanding more connected-with-this-time new pope. I was excited about the con clavus and felt a little disappointment every time I saw black smoke from the chimney. See to me it was clear who the new pope should have been I will not speak of it anymore caus it is decided. When white smoke came out the chimney I was thrilled for me this meant a new ara a new time for all catholics in the world a time for needed change. I was extremely disappointed that the new pope was not only extremely old (no disrespect to the elderly but this did not make sense to me!) he was also an old member of the Hitler-jugend!!!! I was extremely disappointed we were "blessed" again with a pope who continued to preach abstanance and continued to shove childmolestation by "fathers" under the rug!

I could not take it any more! I understand that as a catholics or christians we should abstain from sex untill we are committed and united in GOD with our mates. But honestly in this day and age I feel that we are irresponsible to teach our youths only about abstinance! I teach my son about all consequenses and aspects of sex! Yes afcourse I would be delighted if he abstained till marriage but if he doesn't I pray and beg GOD to keep him safe! To make him use his common sense and a condom! Has the vatican never heard of aids? Have they never even talked amongst themselves about the situation in africa where our fellow catholics still don't use condoms because they keep preaching that it is a sin! Have they no sense of resposibility??!!! I am blessed to be with a trustworthy man that would never endanger me and sleep around to bring a std home to me! So yes it is easy to claim superiority about the fact that we do not use birthcontrole but instead opt for natural family planning. Would I do the same if I knew I had a man that cheated?! I sure hope I wouldn't be that gullible! I am not even going to talk about the sexual abuse of little boys in church wich would make any mother more than hesitant to send her son for altar boy! I know I am! All I have to say on the subject is that it sickens me that those who we turn to for protection and guidence have proven to be the biggest predators.

As the world evolves truths are revealled the truth about the catholic church burning documents in order to surpress women. Documents that some claim would reveal the truth about the relationship between Jezus Christ and Maria Magdalena whether or not they were a family or whether she was an apostle. I really honestly think that portraiying the woman of most influence as a cheap whore is yet another way of the church to keep women in their "place"
As you can tell from my rambling I am not a catholic any longer I have fallen off my religion no not my faith but my religion! So I dare you to define me! While the world and people around me try to stick labels on me trying to define me as rastafari, christian, atheist (this one confuses me lol I know that GOD is simply caus I am!) I will continue in my journey to being a virtuous woman a Proverbs 31:10-30 wife and mother.

I know who I am and GOD knows who I am no middle man needed no need for definition. Wich ever path GOD will take me on I will follow.

Blessings,

Blessed Monday

2007-12-17T00:04:00.000-08:00

Good morning everyone!

My to do list:
Go to the wholesale and get dh his christmas gift and my binder I have just 2 more gifts on my christmasshoppinglist and than I am all done :-)

I also found a very nice binder I have the orange version.

organize 2 shelves in my walk in closet
my afternoonroutine:

12:00 Lunch and meds Done
12:30 vacuum livingroom
13:30 fold laundry
14:00 read with lil man (he's in the daycare today so this is off the list)
14:30 Task of the day from my forum wich is clean out bathroom wastebastkets Done
14:45 1 hour in the zone wich is the bathroom Done
16:00 tidy kitchen and prepare stuff to cook Done
16:30 cook
18:00 dinner with family

Ok I am going to shower and get ready to leave now

Nice and quiet sunday!

2007-12-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

I just love sundays, the only day of the week with no obligations, errands, chores or long to-do lists. The day passes by slowly, while the kids play upstairs with lego and dh plays some kind of civilization game on his laptop. The perfect day to start working on my own christmas gift. I spend more than an hour looking for new inspirational pictures and quotes for my control journal, I found wonderful pictures like this one to make the journal more appealing to the eye and fun to use.

So far I have the following "chapters or tabs" for my journal:
Menu's
Recipes
Homework (lil assignments I do with the boys)
budget
hobbies and decor ideas (free patterns etc)
cleaning scedules (morning/afternoon/night routines and zones)
calender and planners
birthday and holiday card sending list
Miscellaneous
Medical info kids (vaccinations, allergies etc)
Bible and kebra nagast studies (starting january I want to finish both in 2 yrs time)
Blessings ( I use this to write down the lil blessings of daily life)

If anyone thinks of one that would be useful please feel free to share!

I need a new binder, I used a normal ringbinder but that is too small to fit all the recipes and ideas I collect over the year. Being the only girl in this house I want a pretty girly and frilly binder lol one that is not appealing to the lil and big men so no one will be tempted to read and misplace my journal. I am soooo jealous of all you american ladies with all kinds of cute binders and accesoires too put in the binder, I guess I will have to get creative behind the sewingmachine and make a cover for the new binder. I am going to the wholesale tomorrow and intend to spend a good while in the officesupplies section. 2008 is going to be the year of orginazation and making my house a home, so I want to be prepared ;-)

I have always dedicated new years to certain goals somehow it makes it more achievable. 2006 was the year of selfimprovement and stimulation I made a promise to myself to eat healthy and to move a lot more. I also started a special training for the dutch IRS and not only finished it with distinction I was asked to move to a more advance training in order to collect taxes and to make settlements with defaulters (hate that word) I finished that with distinction as well but sadly enough I became severely ill and had to quit. 2007 became the year of finances and gaining a healthy BMI. My BMI is a healthy 24 now and I have never been more pleased with myself LOL I made a plan to pay off all studentloans, debit and creditcards, and to save a lot more than we had been doing before. A week ago I made the last payment to dh his studentloans and most of goals set were achieved. I pray that my goals will be met in 2008 and that life will keep smiling at me and my family. 2008 is also the year I want to start taking balletlessons again and most important 2008 will be by the grace of GOD filled with little blessings! We are expecting 3 babies (no not dh and I but my cousins and my brother and sis-in-law) I am sooo thrilled and I can't wait to cuddle and kiss my sweet lil nieces or nephews. I am demanding to babysit them at least once a month so I will start putting on boxing gloves to fight off cousins and sis-in-law when I run off with their babies ;-P

Blessings,

Groceries 12/15/07 till 12/21/07

2007-12-16T10:19:00.000-08:00

Grocerystore 30.82 euro
lemonade
rice
cereal
muesli
garlicbread 2x
gouda cheese
pizzadough
salmonsalad (take to work and school lunch)
tunasalad (take to work and school lunch)
sandwichbags
half full milk 2x
frozen fish 2x
grated cheese
whole weat bread

Budget left: 69.18 euro

To Do list 12-14-07

2007-12-14T02:12:00.000-08:00

vacuum living room

clean tiolet

Hang laundry

wash one load

fold laundry that is on the line now

make home cosy for the weekend

Cook

Off to do my chores!

Edit:

All done!

Friday Menu's

2007-12-14T01:30:00.000-08:00

Saturday: Homemade pizza

dried italian herbs

4 cans of tomatoes

1 can tomatomash

garlic

onions

zucchini

can of tuna

can of salmon

grated cheese

pizzabase

Sunday: Fried rice

rice

salt fish

tomatoes

eggs

onions

garlic

chinese herbs

parsley

homemade pickled cucumbers

Monday: stir fried noodles with grilled salmon

noodles

sweet and sour sauce

salmon

onion

garlic

ginger

kai lan (chinese veggie)

Tuesday: Rice, fishcakes and stringbeans

rice

onions

garlic

stringbeans

tomatoes

2 cans of salmon

egg

breadcrumbs

parsley

Wednesday: Spaghetti

Spaghetti

Canned tomatoes

3xcourgette (zuchini)

2xgrated cheese

1xdried italian herbs

onions

garlic

garlicbread

Thursday: breadday

french bread

croissants

eggs for omelette

sausages for the boys (they wanted to eat some meat so I decided on a bread day I so don't want to smell raw meat)

sardines

whole weat bread

custard

fresh fruit salad

Friday: Rice, tilapia, cabbage

rice

tilapia

cabbage

onions

garlic

Yeah me ;-)

2007-12-14T01:15:00.000-08:00

The babysteps are working really well! I have portion control again and I drink 3 liters of water daily. Not eating after 8 and 2 pieces of fruit a day are still somewhat of a challenge but I am getting there. Yesterday I walked for 3 hours with a girlfriend, it was the most fun I had since ages we laughed and talked and had so much fun it didn't even seem like excersize LOL We were really good girls too, we ended up in a lil snackbar for cups of hot cocoa and when we were asked if we wanted whipped cream we kindly refused

After defrosting we walked some more! How cool are we?! We are planning to do this weekly and I know that in 6 months times we will have fab toned legs and flat stomachs.

Frugal skincare

2007-12-14T00:58:00.000-08:00

I used to spend way to much on skincare/make-up/bodycare products, 60 euro's a month was not uncommon. I still had breakouts (mostly because I didn't stick to my routine) and was looking for a more simple and definately less expensive option. I started researching how to make my own skincare products. I found an article online called The Oil Cleansing Method and after reading it through I decided that this was something that I could do, however I was scared I would break out because of all the oil. I decided to give it a week and if I had rash or breakouts I would immediately stop. Almost 3 months have passed and I have beautiful skin no rashes no acne and the blemishes of the acne in teens are disappearing, even the lil whole's are filling up!!! All of this without spending one dime! I cook with olive oil and I use castor oil for my locs. I use a mixture of 50/50 for the "oil wash" and rub a lil of that same mixture for skincare.

If you are looking for a frugal working way to take care of your skin, click on the oil cleansing method and read the whole article.

Tackle it tuesday!

2007-12-11T00:36:00.001-08:00

I found this site while surfing ;-) I haven't fully explored it yet but I like the sound of tackle it tuesday!

I have to move mountains today, or at least that is how I feel. It's after 9 a.m. and you guessed it I am not dressed yet, ofcourse I have an excuse I have to scrub the bathroom and figured I could do that right before showering. (yes I remember saying no excuses allowed LOL)

My to do list:

take 2 loads of wash off the clothesrack and fold them Done

hang the one that is in the washer now

clean breakfast cupboard

clean shelves kitchen

clean cutlery drawer

clean bathroom

clean tiolet

vacuum downstairs

vacuum eldest son his room and make the beds caus my auntie is staying in there. Edit: The room was a bit more work then just making beds. I dusted and cleaned the windows and after my lil break I will head back upstairs and finish it.

Make livingroom clutterfree (I am doing this after the kids are in bed)

That's enough more might have to be added to the list but this is enough for now any more would depress me.

Will be back with progress (I hope)

Edit: Thanks for the comments ladies! I was able to do all the things on my list but my internet was cut off because of a mistake the phonecompany made. They promised to reconnect it right away but right away turned out to be 20 hours later. I wasn't able to come and update :-(

Flylady?

2007-12-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

Some members of my forum and I started using the flylady system to get organized in april of 2006. We all started with babysteps and after that we all had a simple morning/afternoon/night routines in our control journals.

Some of the ladies have since than kept their home in perfect condition. They get up in the mornings make their beds, groom themselves while swish and swiping the bathroom, get dressed (shoes and all), have breakfast and start their days. I am not one of those ladies, everytime I am in pain and/or get hospitalized(wich both occur far to often) I fall off the routine and have to start the babysteps all over again. There have been times that I even had to restart babysteps in the midst of doing them because I was out of routine again.

There are 2 habits that I have taught myself to really stick too the first is making a menu and the second is shining my sink every night now I am not able to do the second one always and my sweet dh has made that his fly-task

As christmas gift to myself I am making a brand spankin new control journal. The one I have now is just not functional for this family. I am planning to make it extremely cute so I will want to look in it daily. I am also promising myself that even if I am in pain I will make an effort to get dressed and groom myself every morning before 9 a.m. no exeptions!!

If you are looking for a way to get organized and stay that way i highly recommend this system! Next to the daily routines the house is divided in zones and each week another zone is focused on this way all zones get thoroughly cleaned once a month. The zone is cleaned from ceiling to floor focusing on not just cleaning an decluttering but making the space more inviting for the familymembers and guests. This week is zone 2 the kitchen, last month I gave my tiny lil kitchen so much love I am still feeling it every time I walk into it. I started in the zone today and because I have a raised temperature (due to inflamations) and a hecke lot a pain I decided to do 2 cupboards today. I went inthere set the timer for 15 min and before I knew it I had cleaned 3 cupboards, one shelf and my messy drawer (you know the one I know you have one too :-D ) I might be in too much pain to go to yoga today but i got my zenn from spending time in the heart of my home

Babysteps to healthy eating

2007-12-09T04:20:00.000-08:00

This post was a comment that I left on Micah's blog Since I fell off the wagon I decided that it would be a great day to start with babysteps again. I have been taking antibiotics again so fasting is not an option so it didn't really matter wich day i started. No time like the present right? OOOh and I am so excited dh decided to join in

Are you familiar with the flylady system with babysteps to teach you new habits for keeping your home in order? I made babysteps in order to teach myself new eating habits simular to the flylady system. The members of my forum and readers of my website used this system along with me and all of us lost a minimum of 5 pounds in the 30 days!

The steps with a * are to be repeated everyday.

For example day one drink 1,5 liter of water day two drink 1,5 liter of water and eat 2 pieces of fruit. These steps are going to become your habit and doing these lil things daily will change your way of eating forever.

Day 7, 14, 21 and 28 are fasting days on those days you are only allowed to drink fresh fruit and veggie juices, water, veggie or chicken stock and herbal tea. I fast as a way to release the week and prepare for a new week mentally and spiritually, it also helps the body to release toxins (wich cause weight gain) and to heal. I fast with water only but that is not recommended when just start! (Read this for some more information and tips on how to start http://www.healingdaily.com/juicing-for-health/how-to-fast.htm) I fast on sundays but you can choose any day that works for you.

Day 1) Drink at least 1,5 liter water each day *

Day 2)eat 2 pieces of fruit *

Day 3)rub yourself from toe to shoulders with firming bodylotion *

Day 4)replace one snack with a healthy snack of choice *

Day 5)get up 15 minutes earlier and eat a healthy breakfast *

Day 6)prepare yourself for fasting tomorrow (light meals non-fat)

Day 7)fastingday

Day 8) make a control journal ( I use a a5 map with plastic cases inside to slip in ideas, recipes etc and some lined paper to journal)

Day 9)search the net and magazines for healthy snack ideas and put them in your controle journal

Day 10) weigh your dinner *

Day 11) go on and find some more recipes and ideas for your controle journal

Day 12) make a healthy filling lunch for example 2 slices of whole grain bread with some cheese (or lean meat if you eat meat) tomatoes, lettuce and on the side a nice cup of tomato or other veggiesoup*

Day 13) prepare for fasting (see day 7)

Day 14) fastingday

Day 15) go on and find some more recipes and ideas and file in your controle journal

Day 16)no more solids after 8 p.m. (get some different flavors of herbal tea to help when you feel a urge to eat)*

Day 17)build up a sweat for 20 minutes a day (doesn't matter how, go jogging, go to the gym, do jumpingjacks at home, just break a sweat!)*

Day 18)write away negative thoughts (seeing these horrible things our minds tells us on paper will soon help to shut up up the negative innervoice)*

Day 19)ask your partner to give you a nice massage (or splurge and get a proffesional massage)

Day 20)find inspiration for your contole journal. prepare for fasting

Day 21)fastingday

Day 22)find pamperingmissions for your controle journal. Make it a habit to pamper yourself at least once a day *

Day 23)walk around the corner on your break the fresh air will help you concentrate better at work, if you are a sahm take the kids to the nearest park for a quater of an hour. It will do you and them a world of good!*

Day 24)take 1000 mg of vitamin c daily (this will help the skin to stay firm while loosing weight)*Day 25)on the right track? Check here to see if your daily intake is what it should be (http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/pyramids.html) and pls remember portion control!

Day 26)Try a new veggie!

Day 27)Yeah you have been moving for 20 minutes daily for 10 days now! Time to kick it up a notch and make it 40 minutes a day! * (prepare for fasting)

Day 28)fasting day

Day 29)find some new inspiration for your controle journal

Day 30)congratulations you've build a health routine for yourself! Keep up the good work!

Because this is a refresh course ;-) for me I decided to do more than one step at a time.

So far I drank 1,5 liter water today and it's only 1:30 pm. I was dreading fruit again (I think it's the antibiotics everytime I take them I loathe fruit) but I forced myself to eat some anyway. So I made a fruitsalad with peer, apple and banana and shared it with my lil man. It was fun eating it since lil man decided that he would pick wich fruit we would have in wich order before I knew it the plate was empy :-D

I had 2 slices of wholeweat bread toasted with aioli ( I am so addicted to this stuff poor dh I smell of garlic all day) and I am going to make some tosti's for me and the lil man now. Right on track not bad for a strayed weightloser (<---- is that a word lol)

Okay my coffeecup is empty, time to get moving again. (As you can see I am taking this blogging thing a bit more serious now

Blessings!

Fallen off the wagon

2007-12-09T01:36:00.001-08:00

Okay so I fell of the wagon, I have had no portion control for the last week and a half and I have not been moving enough. Just yoga once a week and sporadicly a bit of pilates at home. I studied my habits and motivation and came to the conclusion that I am not motivated when I have no goal. My initial goal was to reach a healthy BMI now that I accomplished that I am suffering from lack of motivation. I decided to reach for an old hearts desire. My ultimate goal is to take up ballet again. I haven't danced in 11 yrs!! I used to dance a few times a day (jazz ballet, african dance and my favorite classical ballet) then I got pregnant with son#1 and got really really ill. I never fully recovered since the pregnancy triggered my anemia. Anyway I am straying from subject. I will start balletlessons in september of 2008. Wich means that I have 8,5 months to get lithe!

1st goal is to re-teach myself this stretch

2nd goal is to re-teach myself this one

Well enough goals to reach for now, I will be keeping you posted on the progress.

I am soooo exited by the thought of buying a ballet outfit next summer! I used to visit this lil shop almost weekly when I was a dancer and I was shocked that they didn't go bankrupt when I stopped dancing LOL

Blessings,

Groceries 12/8/07 till 12/14/07

2007-12-08T07:16:00.000-08:00

I try to spend a max of 100 euro's weekly on the groceries (food, tioletries, cleaningsupplies etc) In about six months time I want to spend a max of 75 euro's. Sadly enough groceries especially biological/organic fruit and veggies are extremely expensive in NL (not all but most of the tropical fruits and veggies and as a caribeangirl I like my okra/stringbeans and what nots ;-)

Market 6.99 euro's

1 kilo tomatoes

1 cabbage

2 zuchinni's

1 cucumber

1 kilo banana's

Healthstore 3.59 euro's

1 biological/organic tioletcleaner

1 roll of biological candy

Grocery store 37.62 euro's

Gouda cheese slices 2x

biological/organic patatoes

spinach

kitchentowel

juice

cola for dh

muesli

strawberry and vanilla custard

e.v. olive oil

smarties

bulb

paper hancherchiefs

tomatosoup 2x

coffee

biological/organic handsoap

seasalt

veggie sausages

whole weat bread

corn (can)

lettuce

Xenos 9.83 euro's

casa fiesta wraps

naanbread 2x

salsa mild

joy strawberry (healthdrink for kids)

green punch soda 2 lil cans for sunday after dinner treat

sweet and sour saus

capri sonne 4x

Total: 54.63 euro's

That leaves me with 45.37 euro's I still need to buy fish and milk/bread for the rest of the week.

Update:

Grocery store 17.95 euro

Tilapiafilet 1500 grams

2x whole weat bread

1 plant for fishtank

vanilla yoghurt

Budget left: 27.42 euro I am probably going to overspend this week because I am getting guests. My auntie and niece are coming to spend a few days with us so I need to adapt the budget to 6 ppl instead of 4 wich is perfectly ok caus it's going to be fun the kids love having family around and I haven't seen my aunt in 2 years (she lives in surinam)!!

Edit:

Grocery store 15.36 euro

caprisonne 2x

low fat milk

whole weat bread

gouda cheese

pancakes

prunes

stroopwafels this is actually a gift for my dh his american collegues, I send some over for them when dh was last there and they have all become somewhat addicted lol

Market (wednesday) 4.25 euro (auntie paid the fruitman she was so quick I could not even protest)

1 kilo banana's

5 pears

5 apples

10 tangerines

2 zucchini's

1 cabbage

Budget left: 7.81 euro I fed a family of 6 and still stayed within my budget. The 7,81 one will go straight into my saving can.

Friday Menu's

2007-12-08T03:12:00.000-08:00

I decided to share my weekmenu's with you. I will do this on fridays but since I came up with this brilliant idea today this one time I will do it on a saturday. I make my menu's every friday and go to the market and grocery store every saturday.
* We don't eat meat or poultry, however we do eat fish and animal by products like eggs and milkproducts. The only time we do eat red meat is when I am anemic and need the iron.

Saturday: Rice with steamed cabbage and fried fish
cabbage
butterfish
tomatoes
onion
garlic
rice

Sunday: wraps with tilapia
tortilla's
salsa mild
grated cheese
tilapiafilet
spinach
onions
garlic
burrito seasoning

Monday: tomatoe soup and grilled cheese sandwiches
bags of tomatosoup 2x
whole weat bread
cheese

Tuesday: chile con "carne"
kidneybeans
ground mushrooms
tomatoes
bayleaf
onions
garlic
rice

Wednesday: homemade fries with vegan or fishnuggets and salad
patatoes
fishsticks
lettuce
tomatoes
cucumber
corn (canned)

Thursday: spaghetti with zucchini
Spaghetti
Canned tomatoes 3x
courgette (zuchini) 2x
grated cheese 1x
dried italian herbs
onions
garlic

Friday: dhal (yellow split peas) with naan (indian flat bread)
yellow split peas
onions
masala spices
garlic
gira
naan

Blessings,

Errhmmmm yeah so I.....

2007-12-08T02:17:00.003-08:00

was playing around with the looks of the blog and couldn't remember wich one I had to begin with

I decided instead of driving myself nuts trying to find the old lay-out to just go with the flow and choose a new one. So TADAAAAA I introduce my new blog lay-out and background

YEAH I finished my yoga bag....

2007-12-03T07:48:00.000-08:00

.... but now I am too tired for yogaclass :-( I am going to cook and than take a nap perhaps I can recharge and go show off my bag LOL

Ok this is just a really quick post caus I need to start cooking!

The bag modelled by my big lil man ;-) Don't ya just love purple and pink :-D

Idle hands are the devil's playground.

2007-12-02T01:44:00.001-08:00

Have you ever heard of http://www.ymib.com/? If so you are probably just as hooked as I am. Since discovering YMIB it has become my lil sanctuary online. It's THE place to find inspiration, relaxation, information, support, beautiful passionate natural living sister, it is my home on world wide web.

I never thought of myself as the creative kind, never had the patience to create. Visiting YMIB has put me in touch with a whole different side of my being. A side that loves making life beautiful, see the sisters @ YMIB enjoy all aspects of living. Cleaning the home, cooking dinner they have simply made an art out of every day otherwise trite activities.

Creativity not only feeds the soul it also doesn't give the devil time to put insecurity and fear into my head. Being stressed out about the lil man being ill, and being home with him 24/7 put a lot of fear in my head. I was so scared that there was something horribly wrong with my baby. I needed to stop doomthinking and needed something to concentrate on.

My cousin was here with me and since we were not able to leave the home and do any outdoors activity (read: shopping) We decided to try collaging. Well it certainly stopped me from doomthinking caus I was getting frustrated as h*ll with cutting out and glueing tiny pieces of paper. Creativity cannot dwell in the same place as perfectionism I soon learned. It took me 6 hours to finish my collage in between taking care of my son. I love the end result but was pretty sure I would never ever do that again.

About a week later I found myself by the phone staring at it wondering when it would ring. My lil man was feeling much better and wanted to go to the daycare. Dh had just brought him but I was worried sick that it might be to soon and stayed staring at the phone just in case they would call to tell me to pick him up. Devil was putting all kinds of horrid thoughts in my head again and I needed to shut him up! I decided to go to my online sanctuary and read some. Suddenly the urge to create was to hard to resist, and I decided to make another collage. While searching through magazines, cutting pictures, words and quotes my soul was easing a bit. My brain stopped the negativity and I was truly enjoying myself.

Thank you YMIB for teaching me patients to create, for helping me let go of my perfectionism and for giving me the tools to exorcize the devil ;-)

Blessings,

Chayil

Yoga bag drama...

2007-12-02T00:53:00.000-08:00

Okay forget about all the other projects I told you about ;-) I started yoga and being me, having a yogamat (cute pinkribbon yogamat) in a large shopper that says intertoys, cramps my style LMAO

After searching for a yoga bag in all (3) sport related stores in this lil village and having very odd stares and a few recommendations for a large sportingbag to fit my yogamat I decided to continue my search online. I found one fell in love and after noticing the price fell back out of love real quick! Bagprices ranged from 45 euro's and up!!!

I decided that making a yoga bag would be a great challenge and project and would test all my new sewingskills. I searched all over the net for a free yoga bag pattern and found one

This project was turning out to be much much more challenging than I imagined. First of all all the measurements are in inches and my tapemeasure is in cm, so I had to start turning all inch into cm wich was horrible caus now I was left with measurements like 75.8 cm :-(

Than I discovered that I needed lining for the inside of the bag. Since I didn't have that either I decided to make the bag without lining. So far so good I cut out all the patternpieces and started assembling my bag. Only to discover that I cut the circle (bottom of bag) and added seem allowance wich wasn't nescesarry caus it was already in the pattern LOL So I had to trim some off didn't want to go back and remeasure so I just took a guestamate. Because the original patterns and explanation expects me to use the lining I had no idea how to attach the strap neatly. See they made it disappear somewhere in the lining. Well I did the best I could improvising and eventhought the bag is cute I will not take it out of the house LOL So now the bag is used for hanging the mat on my door for @home yoga.

I started making a new bag lining and all even cut out all the pieces but I want to adjust the pattern just slightly so the bag will close with a drawstring. Back to the drawingboard. Will keep ya posted.

Here is a pic of the first yogabag (modeled by dh) always great for a chuckle or 2 The fabric kind of sux but it was the only suitable fabric I had in the house. (fabric by ikea) The next bag will be dark purple with pink trimmings :-D

Blessings,

Chayil

weightloss so far

2007-11-30T10:28:00.001-08:00

Thank you's and Letting go!

2007-11-19T03:04:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all the comments and sweet remarks I am definately coming to visit each and everyone of you for personal thank you's. For now I will have to do it this way caus my youngest son is ill we have no idea yet what is wrong with him he has really high temperature and swollen glands in his neck. Blood results will be in on thursday till then the doctor put him on broxil to make sure that wherever the inflammation is it won't spread out. I am worried sick but refuse to start doomthinking caus I know that will stress me out and put me in the hospitalbed.

I decided to just pick a gateway that "speaks" to me from "sacred woman" and start there. The gateway that spoke to me most is sacred space. I have been really dissatisfied with my house. It's small, damp, cluttered and cold! After doing a lot of calculations I came to the conclusion that renting a bigger house is something we just cannot afford right now and buying is not an option either since we have no idea whether or not we are staying in this country. My only option was to be make due with what I have. Like Cicero said: "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." I am ungrateful for not seeing the blessings of my home! We have a roof over our head, running water, plenty of healthy produce in the fridge and games/tv's and so on enough for hearts desire! I started with the heart of my home the kitchen, my dh helped me to scrub the entire kitchen from ceiling to floor. It took us a good 6 hours to clean out every nook and cranny of the sticky, icky kitchen. We trew out everything that we hadn't touched in 12 months to make sure that everything we needed and loved had it's own space in the cubboards. The results are astounding! The kitchen smells fresh and looks clean and inviting! Best of all it did not cost me a dime!!! All I needed was hot water, green soap and elbow grease! Since reclaiming the kitchen everyone seems to love it no dishes are left on the counter, no messes are left after fixing a sandwich everyone pitches in to keep it clean and clutter free without me having to demand (read scream and throw tantrum) in order for it to be done! My kitchen is super duper tiny 2,5 by 4 meters but it feels huge now that all the clutter is removed. I tackled my sons their bedrooms in exactly the same way and they love playing in their rooms now! Wich gives me and dh some more alone time caus the boys go upstairs to play a lot more wich leaves us to enjoy the livingroom by ourselves. It was almost like the housing company read my mind caus they started dubble glazing the windows and doors in order to tackle the dampness and cold. I have read up on the subject of making the house dampfree and started applying some of the tips and tricks so far so good the house is feeling a lil warmer so we are on the right track.

Letting go of the clutter and the dissatisfaction, has somehow helped my body to let go of all the extra weight I now have a healthy bmi of 24.7! Since it took me a good 2 yrs to get rid of all the extra weight, eating healthy is now a habit and not something I dread!

I have to go now caus the lil man is not feeling well and dh is about to go to the office for a converance call.

Blessings and thanks again,

Chayil

Just a little loc update...

2007-11-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

It's a little over a month and my babies are doing great. No signs of budding yet put patience is a virtue, I've been told :-P

I wonder why I didn't start this journey sooner! I absolutely love this spritz and go lifestyle. It has even effected my moods for the better I feel sexy even when I wake up! Those bad hair mornings are over! Now when dh tries to cuddle in the morning I don't kiss and fix hair with the other hand LOL I can firmly grab him with both ;-) Okay TMI

This is a pic of my progress so far:

Can you see the progress around my waist and under my bra! I am so glad those underbra lovehandles are disappearing

Blessings,
Chayil

Back on track

2007-10-30T00:37:00.000-07:00

I am finally off the meds and don't have to keep track of my daily intake anymore ! I am regaining my appetite and eat between 1000 to 1500 kcal daily, such a relief after more than a month of eating less than 1000 kcal daily. My body seems to be extremely happy too caus since I am eating more I have been losing more weight, I guess lil ole body is not feeling starved anymore and doesn't need to hold on to the excess fat.

I elimanated all meat and poultry out of my diet again and started reading and applying the teachings of queen afua again. I love love love "sacred woman" I love the fact that the teachings apply to every aspect of life. I really recommend it to all the ladies out there who get overwhelmed by life from time to time. Also recommend it to the ladies with female problems, heal the womb and you heal your mind, body and soul!

Inspired by the queen I decided to take up Hatha Yoga, yesterday was my first class. I was a bit scared because of all the aches and pains I have and did not have a clue what to expect. All I can say is WOW and Why did I not do this before?! The class was relaxing and inspiring, we did excersises for the womb and for the back and this morning was the first morning since I can remember that I woke up without backpain!!!

The fallchallenge is going great and I lost 8.8 lbs so far. I started on 09/17/2007 ( a bit earlier than planned I was supposed to start on the first day of fall 23 rd of september )with a weight of 149.6 and today I weigh in at 140.8. 4.4 lbs to go and I have a healthy BMI of 24.8! The last day of the challenge will be the 21th of december. Can't wait to see the endresults!

Since I have been looking at all the ladies their progress pics I decided to post a few pics myself. They aren't really progress pics but you can see the difference well at least I can ;-) Click on the pics to see them enlarged that way you can see the difference a lot better.

This first pic was taken in Surinam december 2005 when I first saw these pic I realized that I really really needed to take better care of myself! The lil man beside me is my oldest son.

This pic was taken about a month ago. I will ask dh to take pics this week so I can post a more recent pic.

That's it for now, I will update more often now that I don't have to do the depressing daily intakes anymore :-D

Blessings,

Chayil

As promised

2007-10-30T00:19:00.000-07:00

a picture of my vest. Now keep in mind it's my first project in 15 yrs ;-)

The front & The back

I haven't found any cloth to upholster my chairs yet so I decided to make a lil top instead.

I downloaded a free pattern for this top yesterday and I am going to make it from an old headwrap wich I can't wear anymore because it dries out my locs

I have really rekindled my passion for sewing, lovin' it!

Blessings,

Chayil

Finally an update!

2007-10-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

I still enjoy sewingclass a lot I have finally finished my vest and it looks cute but a bit boring. I think it's the colour I chose (gray) so I will be thinking of ways how I can pimp-my vest :-P

I brought it home today (sewing lessons are now on wednesday's) and dh thought it looked really pro haha

I am going to try and make some time to go to Ikea to get some thick cloth to refurnish my chairs that will be my next sewingproject :-D

I just love my sewingteacher she has given me all kinds of great ideas on how to revamp clothes and she even offered to help me shorten the sleeves and legs of an pantssuit I bought but never wore cause it's to long.

I will post a pic of my vest asap

Weight update 10/15/2007

2007-10-14T23:27:00.000-07:00

What I ate today..10/5/07

2007-10-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

Breakfast

kids white bread 2 slices 170 kcal

Cheese 48+ 1 slice 75 kcal

coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal

Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

Total 355 kcal

Lunch

Mariabiscuitje 2 50 kcal (tea biscuit)

coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal

Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

Total 160 kcal

Snacks etc

Total kcal

Dinner

Total kcal

Daytotal kcal

What I ate today:

2007-10-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

I finally have some energy to blog my daily intake again ;-)

Breakfast
kids white bread 2 slices 170 kcal
Cheese 48+ 1 slice 75 kcal
coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal
Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal
Total 355 kcal

Lunch
tortilla chips 50 gr 324 kcal
salsa 2 tbspoons 10 kcal

Total 334 kcal

Snacks etc

tangerine 2 50 kcal
banana candy 15 kcal

Total 65 kcal

Dinner

baked patatoes 75 gr. 85 kcal

Hamburger 1 230 kcal

Total 315 kcal

Daytotal 1048 kcal

3

2.2 lbs off :-D

2007-10-01T04:03:00.000-07:00

My fallchallenge will be till the 21st of december, in the last 2 weeks I lost 2.2 lbs. If I continue to loose 1.1 each week I will weigh 135.3 lbs at the end of fall! Starting the new season with a BMI of 24.7 would be the best holiday gift ever! Before new years I hope to loose the remaining 9.3 lbs and start the new year with a healthy BMI of 23!

My Weight Chart:

My loc journey has finally begun!

2007-09-30T01:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I travelled to Rotterdam to have my hair twisted to start my locs. It took about 6 hours but I am very pleased about the results. About 2 inches where cut off caus I did not like the ends.

This is the endresult:

No time to write...

2007-09-30T00:41:00.000-07:00

...caus this has been the sickward for the last few days. Boys and I had the flu and dh had to work from home to take care of us. I did not keep track of what I ate but I am sure it was no more than 1300 kcal each day. I will start keeping track of things starting tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well!

Blessings,
Chayil

To OP or not to OP

2007-09-26T00:34:00.001-07:00

That is the question.

Yesterday I started oil pulling with castoroil mostly for my aching teeth/gums, after 10 minutes of OP I spat out the oil and I repeated this in the afternoon again this time for 15 min. This morning when I woke up I was in tremendous pain and my armpits are totally inflamed and I feel like the inside of my body is on fire! I still OP same effect on teeth and no mucus. I read that OP can make conditions worse and that it is a sign of healing, I am so confused now caus if my body would act up this way despite the antibiotics I would go to the emergency ward straight away caus it would be a sign that the antibiotics are not working and that I probably need an operation or an high dose of antibiotic drip. Now I have no idea what to do is it really possible that the Op would have this kind of effect in 24 hours?? (I posted this on the NP-forum as well caus I really need advise)

I will ask dh to get me some unrefined sunfloweroil today for the OP cause I wonder if it is the Castoroil that is giving me these side effects. I know that castoroil can really trigger skin conditions.

Day 9: What I ate today....

2007-09-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

Breakfast

Bread roll 1 130 kcal

Cheese 48+ 1/2 slice 38 kcal

coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal

Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

Total 278 kcal

Lunch

Whole weat 2 slices 170 kcal

Low fat sandwich meat 10 kcal

Total 180 kcal

Snacks etc

Sultana naturel 1 pack 170 kcal

Total 170 kcal

Dinner

fajita de pollo 100 gr. 158 kcal

Salsa 3 tbspoons 25kcal

Wraps 3 390 kcal

Total 573 kcal

Daytotal 1201 kcal
4

Taking better care of me!

2007-09-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

I really have to start taking better care of me. Specially the "outside" of me. My eyebrows are in desperate need of plucking and my beautician is dealing with a sudden death of a beloved familymember so she is not up to working. I am going to call around to see if I can make an appointment at another beautician for tomorrow morning when the lil one is at the daycare. I have been rubbing nivea on my body for the last 3 days but I still haven't established a morning routine and tend to walk around in my robe till at least 11 o'clock.

Today I tried oil pulling, my gums and my front teeth are hurting horribly and I will do anything to avoid going to my dentist right now, still trying to get over the shock of my last 400 euro dental bill for reconstructing a molar. I op-ed with castor oil caus that was the only oil in my bedroom ;-) and managed to do it for 10 minutes not bad for a first timer I thought. I did it around 7 and since I spat it out (it was totally milky I know TMI) I have a stuffed sinus. I have been blowing my nose and running to the toilet every 5 minutes! Wasn't expecting that but I guess it's a sign that it's working (right??!!) I am going to try and find unrefined sunflower or sesameoil today caus castoroil is not sold in the netherlands so my parents send it from Surinam for me to use in my hair. Don't want to "waste" it on oilpulling. I also need to find a toothpaste for sensitive teeth my teeth are really the illtreated stepchildren of my body they suffer from all the antibiotics I have to take and from all the vomiting when I am sick. Poor babies I will nurse them back to health. They are good to me other than the hurting right now I have only one filling/reconstruction on the molar the rest of my teeth and molars are all in good health.

While OP I used a Cuticle & Nailremedy caus my hands and nails really needs some attention. I always had my nails done with acrylic by a nailstylist. It was the easiest way to have beautiful hands and nails without having to fuss with it myself. But a few months ago I had a horrible experience I had to have an operation and the surgeon told me that he rather have me take the nails off for the operation. That was pure hell! My nails had to be soaked in some kind of chemical bath a few minutes every day and i was left with damaged extremely thin nails. It took about 4 months to completely heal! Needless to say I refuse to go through that again so I have been keeping my nails short ever since. I don't like the look of short nails it looks uncared for and neglected so I want to start growing them out again. I just have a problem with growing nails once they all get to a good length one always has to break or tear!!! I am going to do the Cuticle & Nailremedy along with using a nailhardner for a week or 2 and when my nails grow out I will go to a nailstylist to file my nails and give me a manicure (yes you guessed right, clumsy me can't file or polish nails).

Well that is it for now it's almost 10 and I have a list of errands that I need to run today.

Day 8 What I ate today..

2007-09-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

I am sooooooo moody! My teeth/gums hurt tremendously and I can't drink anything without a straw and even with a straw it hurts! I asked the dental ass. what I can do about it and they recomended some products for sensitive teeth and gums. If they don't work within a week I have to go to the dentist to get some kind of medication with probiotics and antibiotics wich I will have to take along with my regular antibiotics. I want to cry I thought I finally found an antibiotic that did not make me too tired and that did not have horrible side effects and than this happens.

Breakfast

Bread roll 1 130 kcal

Cheese 48+ 1/2 slice 38 kcal

coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal

Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

Total 278 kcal

Lunch

currant bun 1 130 kcal

Total 130 kcal

Snacks etc

Dried prunes 3 30 kcal

Grapes 100 gr. 64 kcal

Total 94 kcal

Dinner

Dh asked (demanded ? LOL) this morning to eat fries, so the meal today is not healthy and I am stuffed! I hate this feeling I never get this feeling from eating regular food but I was so moody/tired today that I had no energy nor will to cook something separate for me. I also missed veggies but neither of the males in this house wanted veggies with their food they claimed that it would spoil the meal!! I hope that this full feeling disappears so I can fix myself a green or fruitsalad.

Schnitzel 80 gram 134 kcal

Chilisaus 1 tbspoon 15 kcal

Tomatenketchup 1 tbspoon 15 kcal

Fries (frideale fries with less fat) 150 gr. 300 kcal

Total 464 kcal

Daytotal 966 kcal

YES It's been a week! What I ate today day 7...

2007-09-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

Brunch (woke up way to late for sewingclass so I had to run out of the house without breakfast)

currant bun 2 260 kcal
coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal
Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

Total 370 kcal

Snacks etc

Banana 1 90 kcal
Dried prunes 3 30 kcal

Total 120 kcal

My son has a day off from school and wanted to bake brownies. My oven broke a few months ago and now I have to bake everything in the combi-microwave so I am a bit nervous about the end result! Keep your fingers crossed ;-) I can't wait to taste them.... 50 minutes to go LOL Update brownies are delicious we just tried a lil piece to "check" hmmmmm I ate way to much dinner so I am too full to have my brownie as dessert but I will have some in an hour or 2 with a large mug of tea YUMMIE

Dinner

Spaghetti Bolognese 300 gram 360 kcal
garlicbread 120 kcal

total 480 kcal

Daytotal 970 Brownie 30 gr. 141 kcal Daytotal 1111 kcal

6

Good intentions

2007-09-23T12:21:00.000-07:00

I have decided to make a few "fall-resolutions" to help me with my fall challenge.

Intention #1: Walk more! I just tried out the google-pedometer and I walk about 0.8 miles a day to the store and back now that is pathetic! So I will at least walk 2 miles a day. I know that's not much but I have to start somewhere right?!

Intention #2: Eat more snacks like nuts and (dried) fruits even if it's just a handful spread trough the day, it would help to achieve a healthy diet

Intention #3: Weigh every 2 weeks I was going to weigh tomorrow but for some reason I am a bit apprehensive about it. Worried that I might have lost to little or too much so I am giving myself a week more to calm down and I will weigh on the 1st of octobre.

I'm off to hang on the couch with my couchpatato dh ;-) Wish everyone a good night sleep and a fresh dose of perseverence to achieve goals set in the coming week!

Blessings,

Chayil

Day 6 what I ate today...

2007-09-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

Breakfast

Cane sugar with cinnamon 1/2 tbspoon 25 kcal

Pancake 1 120 kcal

coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal

Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

Total 255 kcal

Lunch

Banana 1/2 90 kcal

Grapes 100 gr. 64 kcal

Yoghurt 1 bowl 50 kcal

Total 204 kcal

Snack etc

Dinner

Rice 100 gr. 147 kcal

Cabbage 250 gr. 80 kcal

Meatballs 80 gr. 182 kcal

Total 409 kcal

Daytotal 868 kcal ice cream 150 kcal Daytotal 1018 kcal

Day 5: What I ate today...

2007-09-22T01:40:00.000-07:00

My gurl had her 3rd child friday a beautiful little babygirl named Viandra! She is the most adorable little cuddly baby in the world, I wanted to sneak her out of the babyhotel and take her home but her daddy was watching me like a hawk LOL

Breakfast (late 10:00)

kids white bread 2 slices 170 kcal
Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal
Sandwich meat 1 slice 35 kcal
Diet margarine 30 kcal
coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal
Total 345 kcal

Lunch

Subway grilled chicken salad with sweet onion dressing 200 kcal

Total 200 kcal

Snacks etc

Subway oatmeal cookie 55 kcal

Beschuit met muisjes (traditional dutch treat when visiting new born baby) 100 kcal

Total 155 kcal

Dinner

whole weat 2 slices 170 kcal

Scrambled egg 110 kcal

Total 280 kcal

Daytotal 980 kcal My boo did not have dinner yet we just made some pancakes with syrop for the kids followed by some yoghurt. We came home @ 19:30 and the kids where way to tired to eat a real dinner. They had a big and late lunch so I guess it won't hurt them. When I fix dh something to eat I will make sure to have some too, to get some more nutrion and kcal in me.

OOOOOH that man of mine! He decided that he wanted pizza from NYP :-( I was hungry so I still had some but that wasn't the meal I was hoping for! I wanted somthing nutricious and yummie and I got greasy and icky! 438 kcal extra in just one and a half slice of cheese pizza Daytotal 1418 kcal

6 I know that is pathetic but we are going to watch a movie so I will make sure that I get at least 4 more glasses in.

Day 4: What I ate today...

2007-09-21T03:06:00.000-07:00

I want to drink at least 10 glasses of water today in addition to my teas and coffees!

Breakfast

Wholeweat bread 2 slices 170 kcal
Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal
Sandwich meat 2 slices 70 kcal
Diet margarine 30 kcal
coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal

Total 380 kcal

Lunch
Wholeweat bread 2 slices 170 kcal
Tomato 1 10 kcal
onion 1 15 kcal
Olive oil 1/2 tbspoon 45 kcal
garlic 1 clove 5 kcal
Hot sauce 1 teaspoon (3 gram) 2 kcal **

Total 247 kcal

Snacks etc

Dinner
Steamed pangasiusfilet with ginger and soysaus 50 gr. 110 kcal
white rice 1 servingspoon 75 kcal
Leeks 20 gr. 4 kcal
carrots boiled 50 gr. 9 kcal

Total 198 kcal
I WANT SWEEEETS LOL JUST CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE! Just send my boo and sons to get me a sundae I am craving icecream and chocolate so desperately so I figured what better than a combo of the 2 :-D My sudea will be 277 kcal.
This will make my daytotal 1102 kcal Watched movie with dh and wanted a lil snack so I had 2 rice cakes 54 kcal daytotal 1156 kcal
12

** okay so this might sound yucky lol but it's great! I can eat this on bread or on warm rice hmmm I just love it! Put 1/2 tbspoon of olive oil in a non-stick frying pan, fry the onions until golden and add the garlic, than add the tomatoes and hotsauce let it simmer for 2 min and eat on fresh baked bread or toasted bread. This is great comfort food for cold days and it's filling too ;-)

Day 3 What I ate today...

2007-09-20T00:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a disaster but that is behind me now I am not feeling as queezy today and I hope to eat my 1500 kcal. It is really hard to let go of all the sweets my body was in a sugarrush and coming out of it is draining my energy!

Okay strangest thing ever somehow my painkillers were finished without me noticing. Well maybe not that strange my dh had been taking pakkages out of my "stach" and forgot to mention when he took the last pakkage. My dh picked up new meds after work but that meant that I was in pain for the whole day. Looking on the bright side no nausea meant that I was able to eat a good lunch :-D I really enjoyed it! Just took my painkillers so I am going to lay down on the couch with a mug of chai tea and blanky. Hope this was a good day for everyone! Still did not get enough kcal today but I called my doctor and he said it would be ok he was proud that despite the "anorexie" I was still able to eat something.

Breakfast:

coffee with sweetner 1 mug 0 kcal
Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal
Wholeweat bread 2 slices 170 kcal
Cheese 48+ 1 slice 75 kcal
tomato 1/2 5 kcal
Total: 360kcal

Lunch

wholeweat bread 2 slices 170 kcal
lettuce 5 kcal
Tomato 1/2 5 kcal
dressing 1 tbspoon 5 kcal
crab salad 15 gram 43 kcal
Total 228 kcal

Snack etc

Grapes 100 gr. 64 kcal
Total 64 kcal

Dinner
raw veggies small bowl 10 kcal
dressing 1 tbspoon 5 kcal
quiche 1/2 slice 245 kcal
Pizza tomato and cheese 100 gram 211 kcal
Total 471 kcal

Daytotal 1123 kcal Ok so around 21:00 I really wanted something to eat LOL Pizza tomato and cheese 100 gram 211 kcal, and cookie with chocolate 50.4 kcal Daytotal 1384.4 kcal

7

Day 2: What I ate today..

2007-09-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

It's almost 9 and I just had a mug of coffee and a glass of water. I feel a bit queezy so I will eat in half an hour. Yesterday I was so encredibly full because I mostly have some breakfast and dinner and in between only lil snacks like: sweets and chips, my meds give me a horrible sweet craving and have a side effect called anorexie wich means less appetite. So I would have about 2800 kcal a day and about 800 would be from a healthy breakfast and dinner and the rest would be every kind of sweet imaginable. Yesterday I found that coffee and herbtea with sweetner and pieces of apple as "sweets" help to beat the craving. So I will definately do that again today.

Breakfast

Apple 1/2 30 kcal

Banana 1/2 45 kcal

Yoghurt skim bowl 50 kcal

Cane sugar 1/2 tbspoon 25 kcal

Total 150kcal

Lunch (too late 13:00)

whole weat bread 2 slices 170 kcal

Cheese 48+ 1 slice 75 kcal

Total: 245 kcal

Snacks etc

Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

coffee with sweetner 2 mugs 0 kcal

Total: 110 kcal

Dinner
raw veggies 300 gr. 42 kcal (cherry tomatoes, corn, cucumber, lettuce, apple & onion)
grilled chicken breast 250 gr. 435 kcal (1 tbsp of e.v. olive oil, clove of garlic, fresh ground pepper and salt)
Salad dressing 3 tbspoons 60 kcal
Total: 537 kcal

Day total a disappointing 1042 kcal. I had a mug of white tea with cane sugar (25 kcal) and 2 lil chocolate cookies ( 69 kcal) so my day total 1136 kcal

8 x 250 ml= 2000 ml = 67.6 fl oz.

* Today is turning into a eating nightmare! I am just not hungry, queezy, and extremely tired! I just went to the store to get everything for a filling salad I hope I can get it down (and keep it down) My body is missing all the sugar and eventhough I added some canesugar to my yoghurt it wasn't enough. I think I will make myself a big mug of chai-tea with canesugar and some milk.

What I ate today 9/18/07

2007-09-18T00:20:00.000-07:00

Breakfast

Wholeweat bread 2 slices 170 kcal

Milk low-fat 1 mug 110 kcal

Sandwich meat 1 slice 35 kcal

Diet margarine 30 kcal

coffee with sweetner 1 mug(225 ml) 0 kcal

Fresh juice grapefruit and orange 1 large glass (225 ml) 90 kcal

Total 445 kcal

Lunch

Banana 1 90 kcal

Tangerine 1 25 kcal

Total 115 kcal

Snacks etc

apple 1/2 30 kcal

Peanutbutter 75 kcal

Wholeweat bread 1 slice 85 kcal

Total 190 kcal

Dinner

Plantain 1 200 kcal (boiled)

tomatoes 2 20 kcal (lil bit of black peper)

Grilled Salmon 1 400 kcal (1 tbsp of e.v. olive oil, 1 clove garlic, fresh ground black peper and salt)

Total 620 kcal

Day total: 1370 kcal I have 130 kcal left for a snack between 18:30 and 20:00 I think that is going to be a big mug of chai tea with a lil bit of sweetner and low-fat milk and 2 lil squares of extra dark chocolate HMMMMM ;-) Instead of dark chocolate, I had a chocolate chip cookie and a glass of chai tea with a dash of milk and sweetner total 60 kcal. That makes a day total of 1430 kcal.

9 x 250 ml = 2250 ml = 76 fl oz.

Was/am/will be .....

2007-09-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Help, can't find the right cloth!

2007-09-15T01:53:00.001-07:00

Okay for some reason it is impossible to find the right cloth for my vest! I am getting a lil annoyed I called just about every clothstore in the vicinity and YES, they do have the cloth but NO not in that width ;'-( I think the project is going to have to wait another week so I can go to Amsterdam or Utrecht to find the cloth. Next sewinglesson I will bring all my pants and jackets that need to be shortened will save me a lot of money and it will give me something to do since the vest is on hold.

This is the vest:

The Spoon Theory

2007-09-13T02:54:00.000-07:00

People often ask me what it is like living with a chronic disease. I've always struggled to explain to others what a typical (sick) day feels like. Not being able to comb your hair, hug your kids, make-love to dh, take shower without assistance, make sandwich, clean your own home and the list goes on and on and on. Sure people hear you when you explain but obviously they don't live it, therefor they cannot comprehend it. The next time someone askes me this I will be well prepared what to answer, no better yet how to make them experience it (minus the pain ofcourse!!) all thanks to Christine Miserandino's Spoon theory!

Always wanted to know how living with chronic disease feels? Quick get some spoons and read the following article!

The Spoon Theory
by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn't seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said "Here you go, you have Lupus". She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a "loss" of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?
I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of "spoons". But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many "spoons" you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn't even started yet. I’ve wanted more "spoons" for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said " No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can't take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too." I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.
I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your "spoons" are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s "spoons", but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less "spoons". I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on "spoons", because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.
I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly "Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?" I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, "I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared"

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day's plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count "spoons".

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can't go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said "Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted "spoons" and I chose to spend this time with you."

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my "spoons".

© 2003 by Christine Miserandino Butyoudontlooksick.com
Please note that this story is copyrighted and should not be reprinted in any form without permission from the author. Feel free link to "The Spoon Theory" at www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory - Thank you!

Mad!

2007-09-13T00:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes knowing that there is someone out there with the same despair, anguish and anger can be all the consolation a person needs. This poem by a lady named Michelle describes my feelings, pain, sadness and anger. Understanding her provides me consolation and consolation brings me hope. I may not know her but I do pray for her and all the other mothers that are in despair, scared for the future and hurting in the present.

Mad
I am mad, so mad, that this disease is taking my life away from me and my kids!

I am mad that I can't work a job that I love,

I am mad that I can't play sports with my kids anymore,

I am mad that it hurts to stand and cook (one of my joys in life),

I am mad that I have to cancel so many plans we make because I am sick again,

I am mad that I don't look the same as I did a year ago,

I am mad that people I run into don't even recognize me after knowing them for years,

I am mad that I have to have help with my house and my yard,

I am mad that I can't run the simplest errands,

I am mad that I have to have these darn blood tests all the time,

I am mad that the meds are not working,

I am mad that I am in worse shape now with meds than I was when we started,

I am mad that I have to take pain meds to just make it through the day,

I am mad that I have to put my family in danger when I drive on the meds,

I am mad that I am dealing with this alone (no spouse),

I am mad that I can't bowl anymore,

I am mad that I can't paint my kitchen that needs it so badly,

I am mad that I can't get my oven clean enough because I can't bend over or be on my knees that long,

I am mad that I can not wrestle with my little God child who doesn't understand why Auntie Shell is sick and he can't always come over,

I am just plain mad,

mad at myself,

mad at my emotional state,

mad at my physical state,

just plain mad!!!

Michelle, written during a time of despair. The words might have been a little different, but the feelings expressed have been felt by us all at one time or another.copyright (c) March 1999

So proud of me...

2007-09-12T23:44:00.000-07:00

Today I finally did what I promised myself weeks ago! I got up and headed straight for the bathroom! Took a shower, brushed my teeth and fixed my hair. I feel so energized! Wich was really necessary being in pain and having my bouncy pre-schooler at home! Right now I am going to fix myself a orange and grapefruit juice and a slice of toasted wholewheat and cheese. I hope I can keep this new found energy and perhaps even go for a walk with the lil one.

Well that's it really just wanted to share my lil moment of victory ;-)

First sewinglesson...

2007-09-12T02:52:00.000-07:00

YEAH my sewinglesson was a great success! I was somewhat nervous stepping into a strangers house and having to stay there for 2 hours LOL I like to meet people and observe them from a distance not that outgoing I guess. Once I know someone it gets better but I am not the kind to open up to strangers. The lady was really nice and young (I know age should not matter but I live in a small white dutch village and well the elderly are not to eager on meeting foreigners or "allochtonen" as they refer to us here) and she lived in Amsterdam for several years wich made her more worldly (read used to black folks lol) than most.

At first I was a bit apprehensive about choosing a project so she encouraged me to flip through some sewingmagazines to get ideas. My eyes were caught by a beautiful white wrap vest/jacket it was beautiful and elegant and simple in it's design. I wasn't to sure if it was do-able for me as a first project but she seemed confident enough for both of us. I traced the pattern and even though it was quite tricky following the right lines for my size etc within minutes it felt as if I had been doing this for years. The time flew by and I can't wait till monday for my next lesson! This weekend I will be on a mission to find the right cloth for my vest, it's great to feel passionate!

Blessings!

Locs

2007-09-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

I have always been facinated by locs and the people that wear them. The thing that facinates me most is the non combing and brushing lifestyle. I know I was born to have locs, I have a great dislike for combs, brushes or any other stylingtool, I hate blow dryers and chemicals and I hate people touching my head LOL I started twisting my head for locs on 2 occasions but both times the perfectionist in me took over and made me loose them out again. I want beautiful cultivated locs that I am able to wear in a bun in twists or cornrows depending on my mood. To achieve that good partings are essential and I am lousy at parting my own hair. My cousin (who just started her locs herself) found a friend of hers willing to help me start my locs! I am so exited but scared at the same time. But I know I am ready for locs, in my dreams I always have locs and when I wear twists I am most happy (till it's time to loose them again that is) so I am as ready as I will ever be to start with my journey!

29th of september will be D-day! I have done so much research in the last week that I am starting to feel like a loc-expert, now let's pray that once I have my locs I can apply all my new found knowledge!

This is my natural hair (dripping) wet no products (don't mind my panties :-o ):

These are some ladies with locs that I admire:

Blessings!

My virtual model

2007-09-12T01:46:00.000-07:00

This is my goal!

This is reality for now ;-)

To reach this goal I will have to drop around 22 pounds!
Loosing 15 in the fallchallenge will be more than sufficient though! I am not planning to starve myself and knowing that I won't be able to go to the gym or move a lot for that matter I will have to achieve this by sensible eating only!

This affirmation has helped me in the passed to loose 20 pounds, and I am starting to say this to myself multiple times a day again! I know I will achieve my goals!

I am Chayil, my body is my temple I only bring healthy and fresh offers to my bodytemple!

Blessings!

Passion

2007-09-09T04:05:00.001-07:00

As a young girl and teen I was very passionate about several things: my favorites where definately sewing and dancing. Due to all lifes challenges I lost my passion for these things and decided that it is about time that I demanded my passions back! This year I took Salsa lessons with my dh, it was great fun and it was a great way of getting closer to each other. Since dh does not have a lot of time on his hands for salsa due to personal goals of his own (wich I fully support him in!) we have put salsalessons on hold.
I did decide to take sewinglessons again to find that passion again. I haven't touched a sewingmachine for over 15 yrs except for the time I hemmed my curtains ;-) so lessons are definately a MUST!
This monday will be my first lesson and I am so exited! I feel like a lil kid waiting for the first day of school! I have so much ideas going around in my head of things I want to make I should make a list to see wich ones will be less challenging and therefor best to start with.

That's it for now!

Blessings!

Breathing excersises: getting ready for my fall challenge!

2007-09-09T03:51:00.000-07:00

1 Do three sents of ten "Baywatch Bikini Breaths" That's thirthy total energy cocktails. Every day. It shouldn't take more tha five or six minutes eacht time you do a set of ten. it's a good idea to begin your day with a set of ten. That way your metablosm is off to a roaring start. You'll feel som much better and have so much more energy that you won't mind getting up a few minutes earlier. But if you should forget, don't beat yourself up. Just make sure you get them in before you go to bed. Remember, this plan is about ease, convenience, lowering strss. After meals is also a good time to whip out a set of ten. If at all possible, stand up when you do them. If you can't (remember the point is to DO them), fit them in while sitting in your office, driving the kids to soccer, or drying the dishers. Whatever you do, do thirty every day.

1) Stand up and say, " I am the greatest" - not only out load, but in your posture. Remember your body speaks volumes.
2) Take a long slow belly breath, inhaling through your nose.
3) Lock the breath inside your body and hold it for four times as long as you inhaled. For example, if you inhaled to the count of four, hold it to the count of sixteen.
4) Now, exhale through your mouth twice as long as you inhaled. Again, using the four example, exhale to the count of eight.

2 Take ten quick "KUNG FU BREATHS" before each meal. The key to health and a thin body is properly functioning digestive system. This simple breath only takes a few seconds, but it will stoke your digestive fires. Try to get in ten before every meal. If not ten do five.

1)Stand up. Remember these exercises can always be modified to suit your needs. Byt whenever you can, stand up and act as if you mean it.
2) As you inhale deeply through your nose, tilt your head back as if you are looking to see if there's dust in the chandeliers.
3) Pause for just a millisecond before ...
4) Exhaling forcefully through your mouth. Make a loud, definate "HA" sound as you bring your head back to its normal position.

3 Walk around the block (or for a minimum of five minutes) once a day with your mouth full of water.

I got these exercises from http://members.fotki.com/AnaisKarim/about she has amazing weightloss results so I am going to give these a try!

Skin and bodycare

2007-08-23T23:11:00.000-07:00

I am lazy and I am not ashamed to admit it lol :-P Every time I buy new face or body products I use the religiously for a week and after that it just get's less and less and less. This year I made a promise to myself to go to the beatician every 6 weeks to get pampered! My skin is really benefitting from this, but I could have been totally cleared up and blemish free by now if I stuck to my routine!

It's 8:18 now and I am still in my pj's no shower, no combing, no nada! From this day on I promise myself that I will take better care of me! Right now my excuse is that I am way to tired and sick to take care of me. But I know that taking care of me always helps me feel a lil better so hat just does not make sense does it?! Don't get me wrong I am sick I am anemic and I have an H.S. outburst! So yeah I am allowed to feel dreadful but I don't have to look it right!

I would love the innerstrenght to stick to this daytime routine:

Get out of bed and shower immediately!

-Rub some e.v. olive oil or cocaobutter on my skin

-Brush teeth

-put in hairproducts and comb/fix hair

-Cleanse with Clarins one step facial cleaner

-Slap on some Multi-active Day cream-gel from Clarins

-Get dressed in something other than sweatsuits

-Put on a lil lipstick and mascara

(3x a week use @home microdermabrasia set)

Not much but still I skip out on this almost daily!! There are days that I just put some good ole shea in my braids or twist, brush my teeth and take a shower at night! Shamefull I know!

Nightroutine

-Take shower and Brush teeth

-Cleanse with Clarins one step facial cleaner
-Slap on some Multi-active Day cream-gel from Clarins

-Put on nightie

Again not much! Still I skip out on this! There are days that I am so tired and in pain that I even jump in bed without brushing my teeth! I know I know I disgust myself!

Hair we go...

2007-08-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

My hair is natural and I love it! One downside I just have no clue how to handle it when I am sick! I had a relaxer 3x times in my life and all those times are engraved in my memory! First relaxer: mom was too tired of combing all that hair (waistlenght really thick braids!) and brought me to a homesalon to relax. I was 15 at the time and never having a relax and all girlfriends were exited I was getting one I figured it was a good thing. It wasn't, it really hurt me and while relaxing the hairdresser send out her daughter for a few more pots of relaxer she had never delt with that much hair before! My scalp was severely damaged I had large wounds and my hair was horrible! Bonestraight and it smelled really burned!!! I demanded it would be cut cause the monster was now over my butt! She cut it to waistlength and everyone went gaga over my hair! The second time: I was starting college (21) and had a 1 yr old so I decided to make it less of a hassle relaxing would be the answer (how could I have forgotten the last experience!!!) S.O.S.* pain pain pain! Third time (25): you'd think the previous desasters would have made me think twice when a girlfriend told me that she could make my hair more manageble by doing a mild relaxer (LADIES THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MILD RELAXER!) The kiddie relaxer was on for 2 minutes when I screamed out in pain! My scalp was once again burned and my hair had gotten bonestraight in those 2 minutes!!! That was the last time that the firecream touched my head and it will stay that way for the rest of my life!

I decided to let my hair grow to the length it was when I was a little girl. I figured if my mom took the time and energy to take care of my hair with love I should at least be able to do the same! Before the beginning of this year I would hide my uncombed hair underneath headwraps, I promised myself not to do this again. I had a few embarrassing experiences in the hospital having to take off the headwrap to lay still for MRI's and just laying there ashamed of the uncombed mess on my head.

The length is now a lil over my bra-strap and so far so good, the only time I have real problems is when I'm in too much pain to comb it. I make a few big braids and cover it with a headwrap at least when the wrap comes off the hair is nicely tamed in the braids ;-)

I am still looking for products to use to tame my hair make it less frizzy and easier to comb out. Till I have found the right products I stick to the natural stuff: Sheabutter to twist and braid, e.v. olive oil to condition and african black soap to wash.

Any suggestions productwise would be very welcome!

Blessings,

Chayil

Proverbs 31:10-30

2007-08-23T04:49:00.000-07:00

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.