Welcome

This is a documentation of my journey seeking "my best self"
I am a blessed woman, 2 healthy loving sons and an abundance of all that one needs.
This is not a journey to more of the material stuff, but in seeking my passion and living my best life.
Due to illness, parenting, and busy everyday life, life has lived me instead of me living life.
The purpose of this journey is to turn this back one step at a time.
How will I accomplish this? This I will learn gradually, one thing I am sure of each day of my journey will take me closer to myself.

Blessings,

ETA: I am separated and I can assure you it is for the better. The boys and I are doing good, they are sad but at least they have some breathing space now and don't have to march to the beat of their father's drum anymore. I am more relieved than sad and feel freed from his constant state of depression and lathargic way of living.


zondag 27 januari 2008

Siroop=stroop=syrup?

Today I taught my eldest son how to make syrup. Syrup or stroop as surinamese call it or siroop as the dutch call it is a thick sugarsyrup with essences and citric acid. It is used as a "lemonade" diluted with water and given to children as a drink (okay so it might be a kid drink but I love it and so do all the other grownups I know )

I have searched several american sites for a bottled syrup to show a pic but I could not find any! Is this true don't american's make homemade syrup? There are so many benefits for making your own syrup: it's cheap, it's tasty, you know exactly what flavors go in so you can minimize the artificial flavors, you can make sugarfree syrop for diabetics and it's quick too!
This is the recipe for syrup made with white sugar and pineapple and cola flavor
Ingredients:
  • 1 pk of white sugar (1 kilo)
  • 2 glasses of water (500 ml half a liter)
  • food aroma essence* (2 teaspoons in total so one of each if using different flavors)
  • citric acid (1 teaspoon)

Put the sugar and water in a pot and stir. Put the pot on a medium heat and stir every 2 min. When sugar starts to boil (large bubbles not just the lil ones on the side) turn heat off and place pot somewhere to cool off) The fluid will turn into a clear syrup like this: see the sugar crystals on the side of the pot? That's what happens to the syrup when it gets cold, the cytric acid and food aroma prevent this from happening when cooled off)

Once cooled off (not totally cold but lukewarm if you leave it to cool off completely the sugar will start to form crystals on top of the syrop) add the citric acid and stir well, add 2 teaspoons of the food aroma essence and stir well. Pour syrup in a large CLEAN AND DRY bottle. You can use the syrup to make a drink 1 prt to 4 prts of cold water. Or you can make snow cones. Keep in mind that this syrup is made for home-use and not for commercial purposes when diluted the drink will be very lightly coloured but the taste is just right.
* I usually use this kind of aroma essence but I found this brand in the chinese store yesterday and I gave it a try and it worked just fine! Any aroma essence will do just make sure you use a fruit flavor and not something like vanilla or almond, in the Netherlands they are usually sold in chinese or surinamese stores but I am sure you can buy them anywhere in the States.

Enjoy!
ETA: pic of the syrup cooling off in my kitchen window-sill

zaterdag 26 januari 2008

Lasertherapy, weightloss and crafts

Still not completely recovered even though I am feeling much better. Apart from not being able to lift up my left arm further than my chest and the irritating spontaneous fevers I am doing okay. The hospital called and they asked me if I would like to participate in a experimental new therapy that includes lasers. The tricky thing is that I because it is experimental my insurance won't pay for it. This will cost me about 220 euros monthly for I have no clue how many months. I have decided to go for an intake and see what the doctors say. If they think that the illness is to far progressed I won't be able to participate, I am praying that this will be the answer to my problem. I refuse surgery because it is mentally killing me! In the last 10 yrs I've had around 60 operations all with total anaesthesia. I have memory loss due to this and it also gave me agoraphobia (which in the last year I have been fighting with great result) because my whole life was indoors either in the hospital or at home.

I can't wait for my skin to ease my friend asked me to join her and her sis for aqua jogging and I really really would love to do this! My body needs to tone up! I don't want to loose weight right now because I am hardly moving and that really shows every ounce lost is turning into flabby skin YUCK! So no more weight loss until I can do my Pilate's, yoga, walking and aqua jogging again. It is hard not to loose weight because I am not hungry at all due to the painkillers and fever. Last night dh went and got me "patatje oorlog" that is what the dutch call fries served with mayonnaise, peanut sauce and onions I know it sounds disgusting and I usually think so too but I ate it LOL all in the name of staying at the exact weight I am in now. It was really sweet of dh seeing that he is still master cleansing and was drooling all over my fries. Today is day 10 of his master cleanse and this man lost 22 pounds in 10 days!!! Starting tomorrow he will be breaking the fast and he asked me to make one of his favorites stir-fried noodles with paksoi and ginger on wednesday when he is allowed to eat normal again. He demanded that I make the exact same dishes in the following days so he can eat what we ate while he was suffering LMAO!

I started working on one of the projects for the Blogger Craft Club okay I am not going to lie I actually finished one of the projects I know I know we weren't starting till Monday but I was bored! Really, really, really bored! But that is okay because I was so drugged up due to the painkillers I made a million and one mistakes! My lines are quite crooked but other than that it's wonderful ;-P.

Okay I need to get ready to go to the market with dh and lil man (the big lil man is at a soccer game) we need to get oranges for the breaking of his fast and some other veggies and fruits. I am going to get some fabric for my niece her birthday gifts (apron and chef's hat and I will add a set to bake cookies and some cookie recipes my kids like) she's going to be 3 and she is as cute as a button LOL I am praying that I will make it to her birthday party this year caus I haven't made it to any yet!!! My first niece ever and I haven't attended any of her b-day parties! Every year around her b-day I am too sick and need to be hospitalized. Not this year I will go no matter what!!!

Okay I really need to go now I am leaving you with a pic of my lil one and my niece. They are not only cousins but best-friends too :-D

Blessings,

maandag 21 januari 2008

Empress?


You are The Empress


Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.


The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.


The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

vrijdag 18 januari 2008

V.C. update

I started the master cleanse and had to stop about 5 hours later! It made me extremely sick, fainting, headaches, nausea and fatigue! My body went into shock due to the saltwater flush and all the maplesyrop! I hardly use salt and sugar in daily life, and my body was already dead tired because of illness this was just too much.

I have somewhat recovered and I have decided to fast the way I always do with water but this time I will also add fruit and raw veggie shakes to make sure I get all the nutrition's I need. On the up side DH decided to do the master cleanse! Everything was already in the home he started yesterday and so far so good well he does have some hunger but not to extreme. My oh my how quick does a man's body pull itself back into shape! I can already see the change in his belly in just 24 hours!!! Lucky man.

So far I have lost more weight than I expected and lost some cm too.



I am still tired but the pain is less and certainly less frequent. Thanks again for all the support ladies. I will be visiting all of you before end of the weekend caus I am sooo curious to see what you all have been up too.

Blessings,
Chayil

dinsdag 15 januari 2008

Nothing new really


Thanks ladies for keeping me in your prayers!

I am still in pain, my right arm and back are totally "soured" I didn't start the master cleanse yet because it is that time of the month and I read online that it's best to wait till that is over. I am going to try and get the maplesyrop and sennatea today or send dh to get it for me. I purchased a crate of lemons and just looking at them gives me "sour teeth" LOL

I am so encredibly bored it's just not funny! I've read the first 2 chapters of Thrift in the Household by Dora Morrell Hughes I think I will go and read another chapter shhhh don't tell the other ladies from the blogger bookclub ;-) Tried to sew but after making the same mistake 3 times I figured that painkillers and sewing does not make a good match. I want to go jogging do some yoga or any other kind of movement but my body is just not having it.

I have to go and lay down now the painkillers are slowly taking over my senses.
Isn't my south park "me" adorable? If you want to make one just click



vrijdag 11 januari 2008

Sick and sad.

Well it is official I am sick again! My armpits are totally swollen and infected due to a skin dis-ease I have. I can't lift my right arm further than my chest without fainting from pain. I am so sick and tired, I called the hospital and they told me to come in for an emergency operation but I refused. I just cannot handle that anymore, in the past I was operated on every 2 months and eventhough the operations are short (no longer than 1 hour) I still need total anestesia and it takes up to 2 months to recover wich means by the time one spot heals I get to go back and be cut open again! No thanks! It's lost labour to me infection/operation/heal/start again at infection and so on and so on you get my drift right? The anestesia has caused me to loose quite a bit of my memory I can hardly remember my elders his childhood! It's caused fatique and icening on the cake it caused my anemia to play up yes ladies I am anemic as well. How lucky can one girl be!

I've decided to try a master cleanse to see if I can get rid of all the toxins in my body. I want to do it right so I won't be taking painkillers during that time. I will start coming monday and will continue for 10 days if I didn't die of pain I will continue to complete the 40 days they recommend for chronic ill. I'm not worried about not eating caus I am hardly able to eat right now anyway.

I am truly at the end of my rope, so pray for me that this is going to help.

I won't blog much am not doing much so there is not much to blog about.

"For I, the Lord thy God, will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear Not! I will help thee." Isaiah 41:13

Blessings,
Chayil

maandag 7 januari 2008

Craft club anyone?

Hadias over @ A day in the life of... started a "blogger craft club" she posted links to free crocheting patterns but since I can't crochet (nor knit BLUSH) I decided to find some sewing patterns and join in on the fun ;-)
This is the purse found @ kwik sew I will be making, click for free pattern.
This is the apron I found @ barij.typepad.com & the free pattern (I have been wanting to make one of thesee for the longest time! )
Ah yes the scarf found at Amy butler designs & the free pattern

and last but not least the tote found over at u-handbag.typepad.com & free pattern.

The craft club will start on January 28th hurry up and join, it will be great fun!
Blessings,