This year is a little different well no a lot different. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic and as a little girl I've always enjoyed going to church. After moving to Amsterdam, it took a while but I joined the church my great-aunt (may she rest in peace) was a member of and felt right at home. A few years ago I moved to a dutch town, now having a family of my own, the first thing I did after making sure my family was comfortable at home was find a Catholic church.
The father was a great man, he welcomed us with open arms, the church members where a different story! The members consisted of elderly white people only! With the exception of 3 young (white) families. All the time that we were in the church for mass and for after church coffee and tea there was not one word spoken to us! Dh decided never to go back to that church but I felt like we needed to give it some time and went to mass every sunday with my son. 3 months later still not a word uttered to me, my son who was going to sundayschool in the church was asked again and again how come he was brown and why his daddy was white by the other kids. Now I understand curiousity in kids but I feel that the sundayschool teacher was supposed to talk about it with the kids once and than kindly ask them to stick to the subject of the day, and not my son his race! My son did not experience any trauma from these incidents he just kept repeating his answers caus he is and always was extremely comfortable in his own skin. The thing that creeped me out the most is when I saw a picturebook the sundayschool teacher was using with a blond haired, blue eyed Jezus!!! Come on people are you really that racist that you would change the appearance of the LORD to make you feel more superior?!!! For me that was THE sign I walked out the church after mass to never return. The father came to visit us and talked, pleaded for us to come back promised he would talk to the congregation but I just couldn't! I mean is my family really that repulsive that the father needs to talk to the congregation to accept us? Merely because we are an interracial family not because we are rude or antisocial or for any valid reason but for the colour of our skin?! After that I visited more catholic churches in the village but all felt the same to me. Uninviting, cold, rude and dare I say racist. I decided to pray at home with my family, when visiting family in Amsterdam we would go to the church I went to as a teenager. I felt at ease with my decision.
When Pope Johannes Paulus II died in April 2005 (may he rest in peace) I was praying for a more liberal more understanding more connected-with-this-time new pope. I was excited about the con clavus and felt a little disappointment every time I saw black smoke from the chimney. See to me it was clear who the new pope should have been I will not speak of it anymore caus it is decided. When white smoke came out the chimney I was thrilled for me this meant a new ara a new time for all catholics in the world a time for needed change. I was extremely disappointed that the new pope was not only extremely old (no disrespect to the elderly but this did not make sense to me!) he was also an old member of the Hitler-jugend!!!! I was extremely disappointed we were "blessed" again with a pope who continued to preach abstanance and continued to shove childmolestation by "fathers" under the rug!
I could not take it any more! I understand that as a catholics or christians we should abstain from sex untill we are committed and united in GOD with our mates. But honestly in this day and age I feel that we are irresponsible to teach our youths only about abstinance! I teach my son about all consequenses and aspects of sex! Yes afcourse I would be delighted if he abstained till marriage but if he doesn't I pray and beg GOD to keep him safe! To make him use his common sense and a condom! Has the vatican never heard of aids? Have they never even talked amongst themselves about the situation in africa where our fellow catholics still don't use condoms because they keep preaching that it is a sin! Have they no sense of resposibility??!!! I am blessed to be with a trustworthy man that would never endanger me and sleep around to bring a std home to me! So yes it is easy to claim superiority about the fact that we do not use birthcontrole but instead opt for natural family planning. Would I do the same if I knew I had a man that cheated?! I sure hope I wouldn't be that gullible! I am not even going to talk about the sexual abuse of little boys in church wich would make any mother more than hesitant to send her son for altar boy! I know I am! All I have to say on the subject is that it sickens me that those who we turn to for protection and guidence have proven to be the biggest predators.
As the world evolves truths are revealled the truth about the catholic church burning documents in order to surpress women. Documents that some claim would reveal the truth about the relationship between Jezus Christ and Maria Magdalena whether or not they were a family or whether she was an apostle. I really honestly think that portraiying the woman of most influence as a cheap whore is yet another way of the church to keep women in their "place"
As you can tell from my rambling I am not a catholic any longer I have fallen off my religion no not my faith but my religion! So I dare you to define me! While the world and people around me try to stick labels on me trying to define me as rastafari, christian, atheist (this one confuses me lol I know that GOD is simply caus I am!) I will continue in my journey to being a virtuous woman a Proverbs 31:10-30 wife and mother.
I know who I am and GOD knows who I am no middle man needed no need for definition. Wich ever path GOD will take me on I will follow.
Blessings,
