What I have been up to lately.

Good morning beautiful blogging girlfriends! First of all thanks for all the heartfelt messages I will be by this week to thank you all in person.

My sons where gone for the summer my father took them to stay in Suriname and they had a wonderful time. They came back recharged and since they are back they seem much better adapted to life without a father. Their father contacted them once since he left wich is almost 6 months ago. He is refusing to pay alimony eventhough we had already agreed to an amount. I've decided to just let things go and not pursue the money for the time being. I think my sanity and nerves are more important than the money, wich does mean that we are living off of very very little but we are managing. My youngest started elementary school last week and is enjoying every bit of it. My eldest has just left for the first day of high school (? no idea if that is what atheneum is called in the USA help me out here lol).

I haven't taken the best care of myself, my diet is poor and taking care of myself has been put on the back burner for way to long! This blog has always inspired me to life my life to the best of my ability so I hope blogging will help me get back on track. I haven't been on a scale for while but I will go as soon as my monthly lady friend is gone ;-)

Yesterday I signed a contract with myself and my babysitter/jogging buddy/sista friend will co-sign it on thursday when we start jogging again. The contract is one of sensual celibacy , basicly an agreement to stay celibate for at least 6 months, and in the meantime spend time energy and love on Self. I was extremely excited to sign it LOL Just the idea of having to get to know a man in that way and having to give myself in that way is exhausting!! Male attention is driving me up the wall, sure it is flattering but I feel like there is this big ole target on my forhead or some kind of scent that makes men smell from a distant that I am "available" (insert smiley with eyes rolling). I also wonder what the heck men see in me right now caus I am a right mess! Don't know if I would even wanna date someone that is attracted to me in this state! Ha!

The prospect of dating again does excite me I will not lie but I feel that I need to deal with some issues of Self and Home before doing that. I do not want to bring hang ups of a former relationship on a date, nor do I want to be worrying about home, finances and all of that while having dinner with a nice man.

My father, brother and I just started setting up a family business in Suriname importing orchids from Thailand and bringing them to flower to sell them in Suriname. It is starting to take great form the first shipment will arrive in Suriname by the end of this week. Soon as that takes off (meaning that there is enough profit to earn my living) I will go to Suriname for at least a year to set up a flowershop. I hope and pray that my grandmother will still be among us by that time but I also know that she is in pain and I know that she is longing to be reunited with my grandfather and her siblings.

Ok bloggerfriends, the lil man is home ill so I am going to cuddle with him and do some housework after.

Love, light and blessings,
Chayil