Locs no more!

A few weeks after the break-up I sat on the couch and just decided to take down my locs and give myself a haircut (note to self never do that again!!!) my hair went from waistlength locs to shoulderlength naps (in some places others shorter caus I can't cut hair). My locs where somehow connected to my ex, he was there when I made the decision to loc, he washed them for me whenever I was not able too, played in them before going to sleep. I guess you can say that his vibez where just left inside every babyloc. Maybe a part of taking them down also had to do with change, somehow women feel the need to change their appearence after a break-up. Another reason for taking them down was the fact that I miss grandmother to the extreme, I know that she loves me no matter what but the fact that I was locing my hair was a bit frowned apon by her. My grandmother is ready to let go of this earthly world and somehow this seems like a tribute to the woman that thought me so much and that helped me to grow into the strong woman I am simply by being able to follow the example she sat. I will loc again that is the only thing that is certain when and how are still Q's to be answered.

Now that I am a loose nap again the whole dealin with my nappy hair issue is back *sigh* I catch myself still hiding behind my headwrap and want to be able to take it off and just walk outside but the threshold is too high. Going outside without my headwrap is like screaming to the world I am single!!! and giving men around me "permission" to approach when I am in no way ready to be approached! I need to get over that fear and just take it off and deal with the reality that men will approach but I am in control and have every right to say no politely.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. ~Author Unknown

How can I control my life when I can't control my hair? ~Author Unknown

Love, light and blessings,

Chayil