Working Willingly

I decided to join Hadias and post my weekly "to do" list every monday as a reminder for self and as a boost to blog even when I don't have anything (positive) to say.

~Study
~Must Do
~Taking Care of My Home
~Training My Children
~Menu Plan Monday


~Study
-Sacred Woman (13 weeks)
-spending 1 hour a week on designing and drawing


~Must Do
-Go to doctor with Shaq-
-Call utility company to make arrangements for payment
-Make arrangements with girlfriends about joining a gym together
- Estabblish weighlifting @home routine at least 2x a week

~Taking Care of My Home
-Zone 4 master bedroom and closets
-Get laundry back on track!!!
-Iron school clothes

~Training My Children
-Teaching my son better studying habits
-Teaching my son to speak my native language (sranang tongo)
Focus of the week: HONESTY

~Menu Plan Monday
Mon: white beans and vegan "ham" in tomatosauce served with brown rice
Tue: Spaghetti with zucchinni
Wed: Mash patatoes, veggieburgers and haricot beans
Thurs: stir fry (mushrooms, haricot beans, cabbage, tofu) served with basmati rice
Fri: Sabbath meal Javanese fried rice served with "prawn"(vegan) crackers, fried plantain and tomato/cucumber/lettuce salad
Sat: red kidney bean stew served with brown rice, fried plantain, pickled cucumbers
Sun: Baking and cooking with Shaquille


JAH I-TINUAL BLESSINGS!

Phytomer, I heart you!

The stress of rearranging my life after the break-up was mostly visible on my face and neck. I broke out the worse way ever (and that is bad knowin that I have been battling acne most of my late teens and adult life!!) Not only did I look some kind of horrible (honestly if I passed myself on the street I would have sworn I was a junky) it hurt like heylll too!

Sonja, my beautician, who has been doing my brows for the longest time, decided to confront my bad skin and made an appointment with me to clean my pores and put me on facial products that she sweared by. Now I love Sonja caus the woman is a artist with tweezers, she makes you look like you had a mini facelift by just doing the brows, but I just didn't think that anyone could help me ( I am a regular at the dermatoligist and he can't even help me!). My father seeing all the pain (mentally and physically) I was in due to the acne, gave me money to confront my bad skin. I made an appointment with Sonja and she really really really hurt me I was preparing myself to look in the mirror after the treatment and see all kinds of haematoma, wholes and what nots. After 40 min of extreme pain (no itching tho wich is new caus I always break out in a rash from over the counter products) I got up looked in the mirror and was amazed that my face looked much calmer, cleaner and most of the comedones had disappeared, my face felt soft and best of all it wasn't painful or swollen anymore!!! Sonja send me home with a few testers of the products that she used on me and told me to stop using other products and just stick to this line at least till the tester pots where empty.

I was amazed at the result but the pessimist in me told me just wait till you get up in the morning you will have the worse break out ever. I washed my face with the facewash, used the cream and blemishgel and went to bed expecting the worse. Next morning my face had cleared up even more and even the blemishes where fading! I used the line religiously till the testerpots where empty and ran to Sonja to buy the products. I have been using these products for about 2 months now and my face is looking better each day. Sonja promised me that she would help me to get rid of my acne once and for all and it looks like she is keepin her promise.

To help my skin, I try to drink as much mineral water as possible, don't skip my night- and morning routine and try not to touch my face as much.

These are the products I use:

My next appointment with Sonja is in 2 weeks and she sceduled me in for a few make-up lessons as well caus I am in my 30's but have no make-up sense whatsoever! I have to admit that I never liked to see women or girls with acne wearing make-up it just looked like a very bad cover up. I was also afraid that using make-up would just irritate my skin even more. The other thing that made me insecure are my features I am a black girl with green/grey chinese-shaped eyes and I just can't find any tutorials on how to deal with that!!! Hope Sonja will help sort out that insecurity as well!

Love,

Chayil

Locs no more!

A few weeks after the break-up I sat on the couch and just decided to take down my locs and give myself a haircut (note to self never do that again!!!) my hair went from waistlength locs to shoulderlength naps (in some places others shorter caus I can't cut hair). My locs where somehow connected to my ex, he was there when I made the decision to loc, he washed them for me whenever I was not able too, played in them before going to sleep. I guess you can say that his vibez where just left inside every babyloc. Maybe a part of taking them down also had to do with change, somehow women feel the need to change their appearence after a break-up. Another reason for taking them down was the fact that I miss grandmother to the extreme, I know that she loves me no matter what but the fact that I was locing my hair was a bit frowned apon by her. My grandmother is ready to let go of this earthly world and somehow this seems like a tribute to the woman that thought me so much and that helped me to grow into the strong woman I am simply by being able to follow the example she sat. I will loc again that is the only thing that is certain when and how are still Q's to be answered.

Now that I am a loose nap again the whole dealin with my nappy hair issue is back *sigh* I catch myself still hiding behind my headwrap and want to be able to take it off and just walk outside but the threshold is too high. Going outside without my headwrap is like screaming to the world I am single!!! and giving men around me "permission" to approach when I am in no way ready to be approached! I need to get over that fear and just take it off and deal with the reality that men will approach but I am in control and have every right to say no politely.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. ~Author Unknown

How can I control my life when I can't control my hair? ~Author Unknown

Love, light and blessings,

Chayil

Bringing sexy back! CHALLENGE

Lost a lot gained a little, pounds that is. I reached my target goal a few months ago sadly neglected myself (once again) and gained back about 8 pounds, my BMI is still healthy but the pounds cling to my belly and upper arms and thights so I am going to target them and eliminate them once and for all! The goal for me is to tone my body not to get skinny I would love do some excersises that will help me to get a lil booty. As you can see this black girl has no booty whatsoever!
I took some pictures to document the progress but they are extremely blurry (no that camera saffy yet I'm afraid) I will try take take some new ones but these will have to do for now!

I haven't set a date to reach my goal but I think 2 pounds a week should be do-able so hmm let's say sexy should be back around the 22nd of September? Who's in for a challenge? Come on ladies join me in bringing sexy back!



I went jogging yesterday and it was wonderful! It wasn't only a milestone that I left the house to jog it was also the first time that my eldest babysat for me. All went well the lil one was already asleep when I left and he didn't wake up in between. I am so proud of my sons they are developing into wonderful responsible lil men and I know they will make wonderful husbands for lucky ladies in the future! My jogging buddy/sista-friend/babysitter was on fire! She has been jogging 3x a week for the last 2 months and you can definately see the progress not just in her looks but the girl has stamina!!!! I speedwalked most of the way but she kept a fabulous pace all the while!! D-tje I am so proud of you love ya to bits momma!!!

Next week I will start swimming one or 2 mornings a week. My lil one his school is near the swimmingpool and it is the only sport I can do without having to take a gym membership. A) can't afford one B) everytime I get sick I have to provide the gym with a doctors note in order not to pay!!! yes it is against the law but still it is procedure for every gym in the Netherlands!!!!

Ok blogging friends I am going to start doing some housework!

Might be back later!

Love, blessings, light,
Chayil

What I have been up to lately.

Good morning beautiful blogging girlfriends! First of all thanks for all the heartfelt messages I will be by this week to thank you all in person.

My sons where gone for the summer my father took them to stay in Suriname and they had a wonderful time. They came back recharged and since they are back they seem much better adapted to life without a father. Their father contacted them once since he left wich is almost 6 months ago. He is refusing to pay alimony eventhough we had already agreed to an amount. I've decided to just let things go and not pursue the money for the time being. I think my sanity and nerves are more important than the money, wich does mean that we are living off of very very little but we are managing. My youngest started elementary school last week and is enjoying every bit of it. My eldest has just left for the first day of high school (? no idea if that is what atheneum is called in the USA help me out here lol).

I haven't taken the best care of myself, my diet is poor and taking care of myself has been put on the back burner for way to long! This blog has always inspired me to life my life to the best of my ability so I hope blogging will help me get back on track. I haven't been on a scale for while but I will go as soon as my monthly lady friend is gone ;-)

Yesterday I signed a contract with myself and my babysitter/jogging buddy/sista friend will co-sign it on thursday when we start jogging again. The contract is one of sensual celibacy , basicly an agreement to stay celibate for at least 6 months, and in the meantime spend time energy and love on Self. I was extremely excited to sign it LOL Just the idea of having to get to know a man in that way and having to give myself in that way is exhausting!! Male attention is driving me up the wall, sure it is flattering but I feel like there is this big ole target on my forhead or some kind of scent that makes men smell from a distant that I am "available" (insert smiley with eyes rolling). I also wonder what the heck men see in me right now caus I am a right mess! Don't know if I would even wanna date someone that is attracted to me in this state! Ha!

The prospect of dating again does excite me I will not lie but I feel that I need to deal with some issues of Self and Home before doing that. I do not want to bring hang ups of a former relationship on a date, nor do I want to be worrying about home, finances and all of that while having dinner with a nice man.

My father, brother and I just started setting up a family business in Suriname importing orchids from Thailand and bringing them to flower to sell them in Suriname. It is starting to take great form the first shipment will arrive in Suriname by the end of this week. Soon as that takes off (meaning that there is enough profit to earn my living) I will go to Suriname for at least a year to set up a flowershop. I hope and pray that my grandmother will still be among us by that time but I also know that she is in pain and I know that she is longing to be reunited with my grandfather and her siblings.

Ok bloggerfriends, the lil man is home ill so I am going to cuddle with him and do some housework after.

Love, light and blessings,
Chayil

Lesson Learned!

A New era

These last weeks I've been running around organizing a babyshower for my sis-in-law (it was great fun we had a high tea sil had a great time and was extremely delighted), preparing for the arrival of my parents (next weekend) and inlisting our sons in new schools. The eldest will be finished with elementery school in June and will be attending grammer school as of next schoolyear. The mere thought of it makes my stomach act "rollercoastery" my baby will go to school all alone on his bike and he will not need me anymore (I know that is dramatic but it is how I feel!)
I still remember the first day of kindergarden his hand squeezing my sweaty palms, we enter the school gates and he let's go of my hand and runs off to play on the swings and I stand there lost wondering how I will survive walking out of the schoolgates and attending work as if I did not just dropped my son off with total strangers. I can assure you that that was one of the longest days in my life, I wanted the schoolday to end so I could pick him up from school and pretend I never left him. When I picked him up he was full of stories and was extremely exited about the whole first-day-of-school experience, I was exausted from worries of what might have gone wrong. Now that we are entering a new fase I feel the same, sweaty palms, "rollercoastery" stomach and an uneasy feeling scared of what lies ahead. My son on the other hand is exited and totally ready for this new fase.

As if having to send my eldest off to grammer school wasn't enough I also have send my baby ehum pre-schooler to elementary school in April of this year.We found a new school for him because we weren't really satisfied with my eldest his school, the tour from the new school was wonderful, they have swimminglessons, musiclessons, a daycare where the lil ones can rest if school is a bit too much, artlessons and the school has separated grades 0 to 3 from grades 4 to 8 so the little ones won't feel quite as small.

When my youngest was born I promised myself that once he would go to elementary school I would start taking classes at the university, I feel extremely unprepared because I still don't know what study I would like to do! 4 years passed so quickly it feels like yesterday that he was born prematurely needing to be fed every hour even at nighttime. The time flies when raising babies, all the worries about teething, solid foods, first steps, vaccinations, pottytraining and bedtime rituals seem like a triviality compared to the new worries about sex-ed, playing truant,drugs and peer pressure. I trust that the Lord will guide our family in this new era, but like every mother in nature I am appropriately apprehensive about sending my babies into the a new world on their own.

II Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the Spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Blessings,
Chayil

Pickled cucumber and red onions

1 cucumber
1 red onion
1 Scotch Bonnet (make a small batch without this for the kids!)
100 ml water
100 ml vinegar (white)
A few grains of Chinese sugar (this is like a sweetener be careful it is very sweet and needs to be added grain by grain to be able to control the sweetness You may substitute with 2 tablespoons of sugar)
1 tsp whole dried allspice berries
5 cloves
pinch of salt
pinch of black pepper
optional pinch of ajinomoto *

Cut cucumber lengthwise de-seed and cut in slices about 1,5 inch thick, cut red onion in rings, cut pepper in half de-seed. Put water and vinegar in a bowl and add sugar, dried allspice berries, cloves, adjinomoto, salt, black pepper stir well and add cucumber and red onion. Make day before so all the flavors have infused.

I keep empty pickle jars and wash them well with hot water and vinegar and use this to store. This can be kept for quite some time just make sure that you only use a CLEAN PLASTIC spoon or fork to take them out of the jar or it will "curdle"!

*Ajinomoto is a Japanese brand name for MSG, monosodium glutamate, a flavor enhancer. Ac'cent is the primary U.S. brand name, and the Chinese version is called ve-tsin. Please be careful using this too much can cause heart failure if you are cooking for elderly or children under the age of 5 who have never had this in their diet DO NOT USE!!

Lazy red kidney beans stew

Okay this is one of my favorite lazy day recipes it is made with canned red kidney beans but pls feel free to pre-boil dry beans and use those!

1 large can red kidney beans drained and rinsed
1 onion
2 bay leaves
2 cloves of garlic minced
2 tomatoes deseeded and chopped
1 pack of vegan "ground meat" about 180 to 200 grams (I use the kind made with mushrooms but the one made of soy will do just fine)
2 tablespoons of ketchup
black pepper (1/2 teaspoon)
1tb spoon of brown sugar (or to taste)
1 tb spoon of aromat (or to taste)
1 Scotch Bonnet
2 tablespoons of evoo
Warm water
Add oil to the pot and heat, fry onions and garlic, add "minced meat" and fry for 4 minutes,add drained beans and bayleaves and fry for 3 more minutes, add tomatoes, brown sugar, black pepper, ketchup, stir well and add warm water just enough to cover, season with aromat, put on low heat and add WHOLE 1 Scotch Bonnet, let simmer for 15 minutes.

Serve with rice, fried plantain and pickled cucumbers

If your family consists of large eaters make twice the amount! This is just right for my family of 4 (12 and 3 y.o.)

Homemade vegan pasta/pizza saus

• 3 tablespoons of evoo
• 2 zucchini's (in cubes)
• 1 onion chopped
• 5 cloves of garlic (crushed)
• 4 cans of tomato cubes
• 10 tablespoons of dried mixed Italian herbs (you can choose to buy fresh herbs I don't because the wilt before I can finish them)
• 1 tablespoons of brown sugar (you can add a bit more to taste)
• Aromat to taste (1,5 tablespoon)

This sauce I use as a basis for homemade pizza's or as pastasaus. this is enough for serving a family of 4 twice so half of it can go in the freezer.
Heat 2 tablespoons of evoo, add onions until "glassy" add garlic, dried Italian herbs and 1 tablespoon of evoo. On medium heat keep stirring until your kitchen smells like the herbs, add zucchini stir, lower heat put lid on and leave to simmer until zucchini is a little softer (not too soft!) add tomato cubes stir and add brown sugar and aromat to taste. Let simmer for about 10 minutes to allow all the flavors to infuse. Use staff mixer or blender to make into a smooth sauce or leave as is if your family likes chunks.
This is in no way a traditional italian recipe it is more like "pasta a la Chayil" :-D this recipe is to familytaste I try to use as little salt and sugar as possible so possibly you will need to add more to your family taste.
I don't know if aromat is available in America but I am sure there are simalar mixes available maybe from Goya?

Blogger craft club re-usable grocery bag

Last week I was much to tired to sew anything. This week I tried to make my very first tutorial for my dutch budgetting website. It had to be something simple, inexpensive and of good use. I decided on a re-usable grocery bag. I don't like grocery bags with short handles I love one that I can carry on my shoulder instead of killing my fingers.

This is the end result: I have to say I am quite proud of it :-D

Happy crafting everyone I am going to spend some time with my dh it's his b-day today!

Playing catch up

My house is a mess! I have been doing a little damage control here and there but this home needs lots and lots of TLC to get her back to normal living standards! One of my biggest weaknesses is not knowing how to cope with keeping the home while I am ill, another issue is what things to tackle first after a period of obliged bedrest.

I need to strengthen a bit more before venturing back into the real world on my own, so I had to cancel todays sewinglesson.

Lil man is @ the daycare till 13:00 and I decided that this would give me plenty of time to slowly conquer the worse space of my home. The family learn/craft/language closet.

I took some pics to show you'll what I was dealing with and to share the end result.

The before and after shot ;-) I am not a good photographer and have no idea why the doors look slanted LOL

I know what your thinking! Why did I let it get this messy, but I was just to sick to even care that the kids and dh took stuff out and just threw them back in! And yes we love boardgames this is only 1/3 of our collection the kids have more on their bookshelves. Now I need to find just a lil more energy to mop up the icky's that came out of that closet and to remove paint that is still left around the house from my quick painting action about 11 months ago (blush) I remove about 4 to 6 of those stains weekly lol I will be still removing when I get bitten by another paintbug that makes me do it all over again.

The top shelve is remnant of what did not fit on the bookshelves around the house and I just can't let them go yet.

My eldest son his teacher is coming over for tea tomorrow so I sorted some boardgames that we either don't enjoy anymore or have double to give to him for school.

I am dead tired now so I am going to take some painkillers and take a lil nap before the kids come home.

Blessings,

Chayil

Blogger craft club

Just a quick upload of my first Blogger Craft Club project. Lil man took the pic so it looks a bit odd LOL Will try to post new pics later this week :-)

ETA: Thanks ladies! I think these are called madras check in english, in my homeland these fabrics are used for pangi's (decorated fabric wrapped around the waist) and anisa's (headwraps). My mom send quite a few of these fabrics and I decided to use them to make day to day items so everytime I see one I think of home.

Examples of pangi's

Lady decorating a pangi by hand

Source

Have a beautiful week!

Siroop=stroop=syrup?

Today I taught my eldest son how to make syrup. Syrup or stroop as surinamese call it or siroop as the dutch call it is a thick sugarsyrup with essences and citric acid. It is used as a "lemonade" diluted with water and given to children as a drink (okay so it might be a kid drink but I love it and so do all the other grownups I know )

I have searched several american sites for a bottled syrup to show a pic but I could not find any! Is this true don't american's make homemade syrup? There are so many benefits for making your own syrup: it's cheap, it's tasty, you know exactly what flavors go in so you can minimize the artificial flavors, you can make sugarfree syrop for diabetics and it's quick too!

This is the recipe for syrup made with white sugar and pineapple and cola flavor

Ingredients:

• 1 pk of white sugar (1 kilo)
• 2 glasses of water (500 ml half a liter)
• food aroma essence* (2 teaspoons in total so one of each if using different flavors)
• citric acid (1 teaspoon)

Put the sugar and water in a pot and stir. Put the pot on a medium heat and stir every 2 min. When sugar starts to boil (large bubbles not just the lil ones on the side) turn heat off and place pot somewhere to cool off) The fluid will turn into a clear syrup like this: see the sugar crystals on the side of the pot? That's what happens to the syrup when it gets cold, the cytric acid and food aroma prevent this from happening when cooled off)

Once cooled off (not totally cold but lukewarm if you leave it to cool off completely the sugar will start to form crystals on top of the syrop) add the citric acid and stir well, add 2 teaspoons of the food aroma essence and stir well. Pour syrup in a large CLEAN AND DRY bottle. You can use the syrup to make a drink 1 prt to 4 prts of cold water. Or you can make snow cones. Keep in mind that this syrup is made for home-use and not for commercial purposes when diluted the drink will be very lightly coloured but the taste is just right.
* I usually use this kind of aroma essence but I found this brand in the chinese store yesterday and I gave it a try and it worked just fine! Any aroma essence will do just make sure you use a fruit flavor and not something like vanilla or almond, in the Netherlands they are usually sold in chinese or surinamese stores but I am sure you can buy them anywhere in the States.

Enjoy!

ETA: pic of the syrup cooling off in my kitchen window-sill

Lasertherapy, weightloss and crafts

Still not completely recovered even though I am feeling much better. Apart from not being able to lift up my left arm further than my chest and the irritating spontaneous fevers I am doing okay. The hospital called and they asked me if I would like to participate in a experimental new therapy that includes lasers. The tricky thing is that I because it is experimental my insurance won't pay for it. This will cost me about 220 euros monthly for I have no clue how many months. I have decided to go for an intake and see what the doctors say. If they think that the illness is to far progressed I won't be able to participate, I am praying that this will be the answer to my problem. I refuse surgery because it is mentally killing me! In the last 10 yrs I've had around 60 operations all with total anaesthesia. I have memory loss due to this and it also gave me agoraphobia (which in the last year I have been fighting with great result) because my whole life was indoors either in the hospital or at home.

I can't wait for my skin to ease my friend asked me to join her and her sis for aqua jogging and I really really would love to do this! My body needs to tone up! I don't want to loose weight right now because I am hardly moving and that really shows every ounce lost is turning into flabby skin YUCK! So no more weight loss until I can do my Pilate's, yoga, walking and aqua jogging again. It is hard not to loose weight because I am not hungry at all due to the painkillers and fever. Last night dh went and got me "patatje oorlog" that is what the dutch call fries served with mayonnaise, peanut sauce and onions I know it sounds disgusting and I usually think so too but I ate it LOL all in the name of staying at the exact weight I am in now. It was really sweet of dh seeing that he is still master cleansing and was drooling all over my fries. Today is day 10 of his master cleanse and this man lost 22 pounds in 10 days!!! Starting tomorrow he will be breaking the fast and he asked me to make one of his favorites stir-fried noodles with paksoi and ginger on wednesday when he is allowed to eat normal again. He demanded that I make the exact same dishes in the following days so he can eat what we ate while he was suffering LMAO!

I started working on one of the projects for the Blogger Craft Club okay I am not going to lie I actually finished one of the projects I know I know we weren't starting till Monday but I was bored! Really, really, really bored! But that is okay because I was so drugged up due to the painkillers I made a million and one mistakes! My lines are quite crooked but other than that it's wonderful ;-P.

Okay I need to get ready to go to the market with dh and lil man (the big lil man is at a soccer game) we need to get oranges for the breaking of his fast and some other veggies and fruits. I am going to get some fabric for my niece her birthday gifts (apron and chef's hat and I will add a set to bake cookies and some cookie recipes my kids like) she's going to be 3 and she is as cute as a button LOL I am praying that I will make it to her birthday party this year caus I haven't made it to any yet!!! My first niece ever and I haven't attended any of her b-day parties! Every year around her b-day I am too sick and need to be hospitalized. Not this year I will go no matter what!!!

Okay I really need to go now I am leaving you with a pic of my lil one and my niece. They are not only cousins but best-friends too :-D

Blessings,

Empress?

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

V.C. update

I started the master cleanse and had to stop about 5 hours later! It made me extremely sick, fainting, headaches, nausea and fatigue! My body went into shock due to the saltwater flush and all the maplesyrop! I hardly use salt and sugar in daily life, and my body was already dead tired because of illness this was just too much.

I have somewhat recovered and I have decided to fast the way I always do with water but this time I will also add fruit and raw veggie shakes to make sure I get all the nutrition's I need. On the up side DH decided to do the master cleanse! Everything was already in the home he started yesterday and so far so good well he does have some hunger but not to extreme. My oh my how quick does a man's body pull itself back into shape! I can already see the change in his belly in just 24 hours!!! Lucky man.

So far I have lost more weight than I expected and lost some cm too.



I am still tired but the pain is less and certainly less frequent. Thanks again for all the support ladies. I will be visiting all of you before end of the weekend caus I am sooo curious to see what you all have been up too.

Blessings,
Chayil

Nothing new really

Thanks ladies for keeping me in your prayers!

I am still in pain, my right arm and back are totally "soured" I didn't start the master cleanse yet because it is that time of the month and I read online that it's best to wait till that is over. I am going to try and get the maplesyrop and sennatea today or send dh to get it for me. I purchased a crate of lemons and just looking at them gives me "sour teeth" LOL

I am so encredibly bored it's just not funny! I've read the first 2 chapters of Thrift in the Household by Dora Morrell Hughes I think I will go and read another chapter shhhh don't tell the other ladies from the blogger bookclub ;-) Tried to sew but after making the same mistake 3 times I figured that painkillers and sewing does not make a good match. I want to go jogging do some yoga or any other kind of movement but my body is just not having it.

I have to go and lay down now the painkillers are slowly taking over my senses.

Isn't my south park "me" adorable? If you want to make one just click

Sick and sad.

Well it is official I am sick again! My armpits are totally swollen and infected due to a skin dis-ease I have. I can't lift my right arm further than my chest without fainting from pain. I am so sick and tired, I called the hospital and they told me to come in for an emergency operation but I refused. I just cannot handle that anymore, in the past I was operated on every 2 months and eventhough the operations are short (no longer than 1 hour) I still need total anestesia and it takes up to 2 months to recover wich means by the time one spot heals I get to go back and be cut open again! No thanks! It's lost labour to me infection/operation/heal/start again at infection and so on and so on you get my drift right? The anestesia has caused me to loose quite a bit of my memory I can hardly remember my elders his childhood! It's caused fatique and icening on the cake it caused my anemia to play up yes ladies I am anemic as well. How lucky can one girl be!

I've decided to try a master cleanse to see if I can get rid of all the toxins in my body. I want to do it right so I won't be taking painkillers during that time. I will start coming monday and will continue for 10 days if I didn't die of pain I will continue to complete the 40 days they recommend for chronic ill. I'm not worried about not eating caus I am hardly able to eat right now anyway.

I am truly at the end of my rope, so pray for me that this is going to help.

I won't blog much am not doing much so there is not much to blog about.

"For I, the Lord thy God, will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear Not! I will help thee." Isaiah 41:13

Blessings,
Chayil